follow your heart

i heard it today.

and i was listening.

i will ride into the sunset.....

it all started with a donut

perhaps i was in the twilight zone. yeah, thats got to be it.

she must have been one of the most beautiful creatures i have ever seen, if not the most. what made it better was that she had two boxes of donuts and a bag full of french bread. manna from heaven. i dont think it can get better than that. fresh bread and donuts. God, if only she had some chocolate cake, then id reckon she was an angel. so she gets to the door before me and holds it till i get there. both hands full. she holds it open with her elbow. and she smiles. and i go "uh, er, uh, thank you". smoooooooth, real smooth!!

sheeeeshh.....

got an extra day off today. making it a three day weekend. dont have much to do. actually i do, but dont feel like doing much of anything. just wanna laze. plan to the same tomorrow as well.

the week has seen the temperature drop. and you know its cold when in the morning you finally crawl out of bed and your testicles decide not to join you. only because its warmer under the blanket. it dropped to a degree on sunday and monday saw the temperature at 2 degrees. still i prefer the winter to a hot summer day any time. the only uncomfortable bit is when one steps out of the shower. i suppose a shower at 5.30 in the morning isnt exactly the way some people would like to start their day, especially so on a cold cold winter morning.

with news of the assassination of benazir bhutto, i would like to formally state that if i dont die of natural causes, i would like my death to be termed an assassination. the assassination of RA by Phillip Morris. hmmmm. yup thats how it should read. if this be the season of peace and love then why does violence push and shove its way through the traffic? the season has been highly over rated. i dont know that the Big J would like the way things are. and just because the church, the clergy, the political mafioso of all things religious deem that the 25th of december is the birth of The Saviour, it means that that is the day. two words - prove it.

commercial establishments have ensured that the Big J's commonly celebrated birth date, is to bring about economic prosperity to a certain few. well then merry corporate christmas to one n all. how many actually gain from it? do we have to wait for this day or this season to be all warm and friendly and full of cheer? one does not have to be the grinch to know fact from corporate fiction. that we need special days to celebrate or emote is dismal. ours is a dystopian world. plagued by unintentional dreams and relative fatigue.


Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavour
It happens to be like;
Killed by the husband
Drowned by the ocean
Shot by his own son
She used the poison in his tea
And kissed him goodbye
That's my kinda story
It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother
Holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky crying
Why, oh why?
'cause I need to watch things die
From a distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?

We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
Neither the brave nor bold
The writers of stories sold
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing

I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain come down
Drawn on grave and ground

Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Stare at the transmittal
Sing to the death rattle

La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie

Credulous at best your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head on out
Your head believes it give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again
The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive, so it is
So it's always been

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I


25th december is the birth of Robert Ripley, Atal Vajpayee, Nawaz Sharif, Marcus Trescothick...we can celebrate their birthdays. at least that is confirmed and fact. hmmm....merry vajpayeemas or sharifmas or trescothickmas. interesting that.

the Big J was here to save and we maligned.

eh?...say again?

its freeeeeeezzzzzzzzziiiiingggg!!! and i like!! daze like these i luv. cloudy and cold. unfortunately the rain is kinda messin up my idyllic dreams. still the temperature drop has been quite fantastic.

for now there be many questions that plague most of us mere mortals such as:

1) first and foremost, why do mannequins have nipples?

2) is santa claws the illegitimate spawn of a grizzly and satan on a drunken nite out?

3) did frosty the snowman really sell all those drugs to kids on the street before one of them decided to empty his bladder on frosty?(poor frosty he didnt kno what to do, he just started to melt away)

4) and when granma got run over by a reindeer, what was she doin standin the middle of reindeer street?

5) why did mommy kiss santa claws? was she messin around with him? and where was daddy at the time?

6) dear dear rudolph...u were shunned by ur clan and when they found a use for u, u went straight back to them!! why was rudolph so desperate for attention by his kind when all they wanted was his nose?

7) most importantly, why would anyone want a big hairy guy come to their house in the middle of the nite to, er, deliver presents? santas a paedophile.


so remember boys n girls the truth is out there. and so is santa.

seasons greetings y'all!!

smoking helps....really it does!!?! you believe that??

standing in the cold, sipping on my chocolate milk and smoking my life away...i thought "whos been the most influential people i know, and in my life?" good or bad. they did influence.

back in my room. wrapped up in my blanket.
hendrix is playin

so people walk into our lives to
- change our belief systems
- question our motives
- ruin our lives (rise from the ashes to either seek retribution or learn to be wary)
bad company playin now {i like my new play list}
- better them
- help us see. we are blind and deaf most of us
black crowes playin now

i have learned from my father. the man is a very hard worker. will not miss a day of work unless he cant get out of bed. work hard and straight.

i have learned from my mother. to forgive(it took me all of 32 years to do that). observing my mother i have actually learnt a lot about how a woman operates. me thinks my sisters and their friends also helped there. {i may not necessarily exhibit, play dumb and learn more}. my mother is a very strong woman, she may not realise, but for a woman to go thru what shes been thru since she was a child and then to raise us. respect man! absolute!! if ever the term one man army applied...this is it. stand your ground, take up the challenge and fight. even if youre alone. your strength lies in the simple fact that you are able to achieve.
lynyrd skynyrd playin now

i have learned from sister carmen mary. she taught me when i was in fourth grade. its a wonder i still have my ears. she always pulled them real hard. i think the real lesson was not in the new words she gave us everyday but the very exercise. challenge the new and gain!
motherlove bone playin now

i have learned from mrs. mathulla. she taught me when i was in 9th and 10th grade. a friend and me once got into trouble. for a crime we did not commit. he came over to my place and told me about the problem. we left immediately to mrs. mathulla's place. had to have our names cleared. what surprised us - she knew we didnt do it. and she spoke to us for a very long time. and that day she asked a question(which i think was pivotal in the shaping of our lives then) it made us think and we moved to a different line of reasoning. {RK, dude, i knocked on on your door when all these years you were seeking mine}. and damn i shouldnt have taken my mother to the PTA!!
wishbone ash playin now

i recall meeting this person in a pub and all he said was "there is no such thing as luck, only perseverance". there was MG and she once told me "get to where to you have to. even if it means you only have a dollar left in your pocket". the GM of a company "what are you without the brand name?". that guy "take me to your parents. they need to know what their son is doing with my daughter!" {lol, it is funny now, not back then}. VR, in front of class,"the hardest working person this semester has been <"ahem"> ra" {that was a bit face reddening}.
candlebox playin now

there were others things said, but for now i choose only these.

i have learned from my previous relationships you cannot trust, regardless of the situation. i have given chances, have to take into account human nature. results have more or less swayed the same pitch.
pearl jam playin now

perhaps some of the biggest influences since i was a child - music and books. the books went away, they will be back soon. not having too many friends has its +s.

when i finally grow up i wanna be wayne rainey.

introspective....yeah i wish

ok....i am smiling...and its official.


the team went out for lunch courtesy the TED. he may drive us crazy, but works work. la porno!!(ok its actually al forno). made a mention of it sometime back. place is great. food is good. dessert is great. bill paid by boss - the best. credit where credit is due, our brand is new, we have our teething issues but then thats expected. and we have a boss who may drive us crazy, but you know what....his passion equals no other. and honestly(i cant lie here, im intoxicated, so that makes it even harder) i would not want to work for anybody else.

and i was good to turkish delight, damn did that woman have to hug?!?! for once i said something nice to her. maybe its the season, maybe it was a good day, maybe its hendrix or wishbone ash or bad company(im goin totally retro tonite), maybe its the fourth glass im on....there could be a lot of maybes. OR maybe its just realisation. bottomline, i should be nicer to people. admit, i am snappy(thats puttin it mildly). my excuse - too much work.

R, you know, give me till this weekend, santa and his henchmen will have a different ending. and krashers, you're gonna see the missing details. admit, it did end abrupt. there was a lot missing in between.

til whenever, keep on rockin the free(?) world.

santa and his little elves

(shortened version)

the night was dark and dreary. on account of the terrific snow storm.

there was a stirring on the roof of the house of 8 kids. santa(satan claws) along with his henchmen, them little helpers were trying to make their way down the fireplace. after all that pushing and shoving santa and his boys were in the house. it was a nice house. the stockings were hung over the fireplace, the christmas tree had real silver ornaments, the furniture was definitely not ikea. antique furniture like that definitely doesnt come from ikea.

some of the helpers went into the kitchen. and some of them went into the cellar. one of the helpers noticed a couple of very rare bottles - a 1787 Chateau d'Yquem and a 1775 Sherry. he very quickly ran upstairs to santa to give him the news.

santa was in one of the childrens' rooms. they were so angelic when they slept like that. soon all the helpers were upstairs amd positioned themselves outside everyones bedroom door. santa pulled out his shotgun. the helpers pulled out their handguns.

screams filled the dead of night just like the sounds of gunfire. blood spattered walls, sheets, floors. no movement. silence. they took all they could carry and santa was on his way to next house.

HO!HO!HO!

the claw

i have known the claw before she came to be known as the claw.

the claw as she is affectionately called by all her mutant friends (oh she has weird antennae growing out of the wound. like in resident evil, towards the end, when mac starts to sprout hair like structure from his wounds) turned out to be more dangerous in this condition. "with mutant power comes mutant responsibility". the claw used her new found mutantness to beat down at everybody who did not appreciate it. not me i wanted to see more. i was hoping to see something grow out from the gaping wounds. but it was not to be. and the claw didnt appreciate that either. a womans mind!

because one is different, it does not give them right to destroy. oh, i am not referring to the claw here. had someone else in mind. anyways, the claw, would drive us up the wall with her delusional yet endearing (<--i use the term very lightly and in a manner obscure, for fear of being ripped to shreds) idiosyncrasies. the claw used to threaten us before, but after her new found mutantness, she started flipping us off, growling even and those tantrums!!!!!!

today the claw will cease to exist. she loses her mutant abilities. that, however, will not stop her from scratching, biting, growling and general maiming and mutilating. she, i believe, has discovered a whole new side. perhaps added a new level to her existing capabilities. i will miss the claw. just as i am sure the claw has missed me many times already, i was always quick to get out of the way every time she took a swipe.

i think there is a school for people like the claw. hmm...thats from a movie. oh well, i yearn eagerly for the return of this "individual". meanwhile, i must take a walk, my lycantrope buddies await.

thank you to those who tried helping out for the donor thing.

the boy has now got himself a donor.

a mighty God bless.

first time....awwww whoop-dee-doo....im gonna hurl

this HAS been a year of firsts. and not in chronological order. write em as i remember em

first tattoo 28.06 had to do it!

first time been called a star(and they meant it !!!) 29.11 i was ahead of the game, and TS saw that. and on the 5th of dec was called it again by ZAM, did something for her and she said i was a superstar!!! oddly enuff, why dont i really feel good about anything?? im feeling somewhat despondent, perhaps non directional.

first time handling it all(well almost all) of merchandising jobs by myself. and yes i more than passed. 01.11

first time had squid 20.03 cant say i'll do it again. but then who knows

first time used chopsticks and failed miserably 13.06 some people, i reckon are not destined to eat using chopsticks

first time began writing free form poetry (if it can be refered to that way)11.02

first time ive actually joined any online communities 17.03 facebook turned out to be an interesting community after all. but for how long?

first time (yes mister u made a very good point on 24th july 2005) i can say yes yes and yes. i dont need a brand name to make it. guess i had a point to prove and i did. sometimes challenges may take time, even self imposed but then life is like a game of cricket.

first time i relied absolutely on the Big Guy and He was there for me 2007 November

first time i took a vacation from work. albeit a very short one 25.05, i was stupid, well im never gonna do anything like that again

first chapter of a book i dont know i will finish writing 15.01


i can recall these, my life is soooooooooooooo interesting. NOT.

my good friend and colleague has a brother who needs a kidney.

he is 32, blood type B+

he resides in india

the family is willing to pay all legal expenses for someone willing to donate a kidney.

anyone who can help.....

my email address: rodney@alshaya.com


thank you all and God bless

thursday......

we broke records!!! sales went thru the roof. the office crew - we were at stores during the weekend helping out. we needed a very high number to meet business plan for the week. and it turned out to be a cakewalk. we exceeded!!!!!!!!

u say "f*** u", i say "yeah f*** me"

has been a pleasant week for once.

do i dare?

i will.

get ur dark glasses out for today i am a STAR!!.so sayeth the big boss. i havent had a chance to breathe at work the past 4 weeks. there have been dividends tho, our sales figures are excellent. how did i become a star(at least for a day)? i was way ahead of the game. way way way ahead. today was time to sit back a little and take stock. and yes i did what i am supposed to and more. now before the star - namely moi - turns into his usual black hole.....

"ur so adorable" {now really...}
"ur so sweet" {gag me, blind me and shoot me in the back of the head}
"ur adorable" {enuff already}
"ur so thoughtful" {yeah right, i had nothing better to do at the time}
"ur sooooooo nice" {damn u all to an air supply concert}
"u r the man" {oh that i am}
"u look so innocent" {notetoself:dont shave anymore}
"u look nice this way" {notetoself:work on anti social look some more}
i had someone bow before me {hmmm.....}

in a couple of instances, all i wanted was to get laid. damn!!damn!!damn!!

its freezing

im happy.

two cheeseburgers with fries and a diet coke please

at macdonalds this afternoon.

cheese burgers. mind went back to some years ago ,when i used to work stores. one afternoon, my friend came along and said "i got something for you". "what?". and he pulled a cheeseburger out of his pocket, all wrapped up and kinda flattened. that day he wasnt a friend, he was brother. for life.

i like cheeseburgers.

and im it....now you're it............

ive been tagged! again! shooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okies here be the rules:

Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.


Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.


Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.


Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


Seven Random and / or Weird Things about Me.

1) im indian (like u didnt know that already, but its a start. ok im alien, in a manner of speaking - i come from a different dimension).

2) during summers, i sometimes shower 4/5 times a day.

3) i am always miserable. not much makes me happy. i do have those very rare moments of happiness absolute and i treasure them.

4) ive been told i mumble too much. therefore, i am the mumbler. now all i need is a cape and i need to wear my underwear on the outside. hmmm, also refered to recently as "hilarious evil overlord". thought for food.[burp]

5) i know more girls than i do guys and im still single. that so sucks.

6) i like watching movies at home rather than at a movie theatre.

7) i cant take my mask off anymore.


there my soul lays bare and exposed. to the world. the cruel world. the world of vampyres.

and now i must pass the torch, but i dont know 7 people, this is all i got:

- mon ami stinkhead. very intelligent and he IS a true metalhead

- drifter and romantic. beware the wrath of this little package. she scares me.

- pepper. she got a dog now. shes crazy and tattooed. so that makes her cool.

- smiley. cuz thats what she always does. smile. that sickens me. shes a good kid.

- muanki girl's mama. she'll be back shortly. on vacation. and definitely not drinking any beer. damn!!

reality bites....you in the ass and thats a big piece!

strange day.

started with the usual. and it took all of 4.5 hours to sort it. it can get very tricky when dealing with suppliers from different parts of the world. however, it got done. thats what im paid to do, and thats what i did. got it fixed...got it done.

i have been walkin around in a funk for a long while now. mostly keeping to myself and grunting and nodding and hhhmmmmm-ing. this afternoon, i got back to my seat and the fone rings. see, i cant remember when the last time something like this happened. someone made time for me without me asking!! and she wouldnt hang up until i spoke. she wanted me to talk and just let it all out. hmmm. now that is a wee bit difficult. still she didnt hang up until we decided that i needed to talk to someone. hey, im surprised and grateful. Thank you AF. a rarity that.

shes right tho. that im gonna talk about it.....welllll, i dont kno. i dont.

and in other news - there aint none. hardy har har! hyuk hyuk too!

ok psycho girl is back. a month long hiatus. things cud get very tragic. and becoz of the seriousness of her situation, i held back. we usually make fun of each other. she is the sparta girl and im the guy who only wears black. but now that has been put on hold. i tried to make her laff. wait, i did make her laff. i always do. and she missed me for that. whoop-dee-doo. somebody missed me. usually its my suppliers who miss me when they have to get paid. thats when they show all their love by sending me tons of emails. like i dont get enuff each day already.

theres a lot we take for granted. or sometimes theres things we dont even think about because it just is. when there is that very real possibility of losing one of our senses what does one do? just sigh and say its fate or look for alternatives. but what if the body rejects it, then what? it puts things into perspective - to a certain extent. flipside - cyborg time!!{sorry cudnt help myself}.

i received this today. agony aunts can be so helpful.....




i think im in love!! miriam!!!!

the walls gettin higher.....in isolation i die

been a long week.

and i found out i am so good,and dont even know it.yep!!

works been drivin me crazy but im so drawn to it. there be many voids to fill and work has always been a great filler. feelin agigated lately and i dont kno what to do.

met wit some friends yesterday evenin and we went out for dinner. to a restaurant that specialised in nothingness. we spoke a lot about work. i dont have anything else to talk about(i like to work, i like my job, i just wish things were fair, but thats racism for you). and the girls threatened me. "we wont go out with you if u keep payin" {sue me}. hey if u dont wanna go out......

i am still feelin somewhat ill from last week. i havent had time to recover, went straight back to work after i found out i could stand again. but then thats how im built.

last week im told not to hate the world so much. and not to hate myself. i dont hate myself, i just dislike a lot of things, hmmm, notetoself:shave more often. maybe its not the world i hate but the world i kno. and i kno i definitely dislike what i see. dystopian reality in an egalitarian dream!! hardy har har!! last week also had to go face to face. and i came out on top. but that still didnt change the fact that what happened was not right. im not right all the time, but when i am , I AM! deal with it you loused up fucktards!!

this mornin-

dipstick: what is that?[pointing to my forearm]
me: what...? [and i look past it and on to the ground behind me thinking hes pointing to something on the ground]
dipstick: that, that...[pointing again]
me: oh that, its nothing [i realise hes pointin to my tattoo]
dipstick: what longage?
me: japanese
dipstick: u speak japonese
me: no
dipstick: show me [and then the stupid pile of shit moves closer to hold my arm]
me: [moving arm away from him, see i dont like anybody touchin me, its hard enuff lettin people who kno me touch me. i dont liked to be touched by anybody. very few people allowed that. i dont go touching anybody, so i expect the same]
dipstick: what it means?
me: it means something
me: i have to go
dipstick: i just being friendly, no serious
me: {not in a mood for this u shitbag, really im not, go far away}
dipstick: show me show me {hes getting closer and tryin to hold my forearm]
me: why are u talkin to me?
dipstick: i just being friendly, just want to see. what religion u are? where u are from?
me: ur asking too many questions, and i dont like it. [very very annoyed tone]
dipstick: i just being friendly
me: i dont care, ur wasting my time and ur asking too many questions
dipstick: u dont like? [he had this look, bet he practised it a lot in front of a mirror, a look of surprise. surprised that someone doesnt want to talk to him)
me: no, i dont like [by this time, my voice was very high, walking away from him]
dipstick; oh ok, i will not ask question, why you angry?
me: {i wish killin dipsticks was legal}


great news this mornin, actually this afternoon, my bro (hes part of the fantastic four) got a lil girl. the strange part is theres this word (hyatt = life)stuck in my head from sometime last week. and guess what he calls her.....we spoke for quite a while. he may come down to kuwait for a few daze. we got a lot of catching up to do.



and finally for all those who want to quit their job but dont kno what to write....



Dear Sir,


Subject: Resignation

















I Love Your Wife.











Thank You......... ...












GOD so rules!! truth be told here, i lag behind, disappointed and feeling condemned and angry, but HE sure knows how much punishment i can take and then HE pulls me out like nothing has happened and everything is sorted out. i may not be religious in a way conventional, ive had my share of x-file experiences with GOD, but what HE did for me this week and i asked HIM because there was no way out but a gun, and HE was there. HE WAS THERE!!

####

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


******###### ******$$$$$
@@@@ #### @@@@ ####
@@@@ @@@@ @@@@
#### #### #### ####


snaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrlll

in the words of corey:
I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander over where you can't see...
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed...


damned right im pissed off.

all quiet on the middle eastern front

i ran. so far. so fast. i ran.

on my way to IT, i thought id just do a fly-by. all i wanted to do was say hi. and i did. and then it started. sitting across each other and i was caught in the middle(i was standing there of course). the subject can be so sensitive. we all have our views on it. some have very distorted views, or so i believe. having said that i do have an open mind. i am willing to hear, in order to get a feel of what the other has to offer. and if i dont like it, welllll, i dont. you may disagree with me, shoot me down just because we differ. i may be outnumbered, but i will stick to what i have chosen.

perhaps S n me shouldnt have tried to mess with dragon lady - that there was error #1. then we tried to defend our choices - that was error #2. S began telling me of what he'd done for her and she didnt appreciate his efforts. then he told her of similarities of her choices and ours - error #3. i think this was around the time she pulled out her gun and began to wave it violently in the air. we still didnt notice that.(we're guys, which means we reserve the right to be blind to the obvious). it was only when she pointed the gun straight in our faces did we realise the error of our ways(all 400 of them ways. yes 400. by that time everything we said was wrong). hmmm, this was when all hell broke loose. "uh-oh".

i ran. so far. so fast. i ran.

i bet she knows kung fu too.

now tell me what is so wrong with porcupine tree?


the evening turned out to be great. we gathered(threw him a surprise party) to honor(?!) a friend, son, brother, comrade who will soon begin a new life.

the dip was so amazing, the alcohol relaxed, the music was great. and i actually participated in some of the party thingys.lol! and then i did, dare i say it, the unmentionable(well almost). i danced. slow danced even. sheeeeshhh, how drunk was i???

all in all the day was good. an end to a week that thrived on misery.

thank you very much TM n VM. you guys almost rock, but then u dont, u pop!!!

things happen to alter conviction

201007

i got to ride in the back of an ambulance. speeding along to the hospital. i was holding her hand. talking to her all the time. the paramedic told me to keep talkin to her. and so i spoke.

she didnt recognise me as i spoke to her. she thought i was one of the paramedics. answering as many questions as i could while he was filling up the form, the ride got me feeling dizzy. my head still hurt for a few hours after the hospital trip.

i didnt smoke much that day.

my chest didnt hurt much that day.


221007

news that good certainly deserved celebration. was already planning it when the phone rang a few hours after. matter of life and death. lose one in order to save the other. by continuing, we would have lost both mother and foetus. decisions made. life continues. life ends.





we spoke of books read when we were children. as a child i found agatha christie too complicated. the same when i was growing. but edgar allan poe - havent read all his works{note to self, buy all EA Poe writings}, he was contagious. he did frighten. but not in a way conventional. more to do with deep rooted psychosis and emotions buried deep. resurfacing into fear that is individual. stephen king came much later in life as did dean r koontz. i was 8 when i really took an interest in reading(didnt have m/any friends). i think that was a good thing. i would spend as much time as i could in the school library. but the real gift was when i would walk into a bookstore. walking thru the aisles. very slowly. i didnt want to miss a book. there was home.

all those in favor, say................what????

life is passin us by, passin me by. and what have i got to show for? not much. perhaps nothing. born alone to die alone, along the way we meet people. i have met some interesting people this week. some dangerous, yup there was one who actually had me feeling a tad bit unnerved. and the funny part is he wants to do these things to people with actual criminal intent. not just saying things, but with enough weight in his words. that is something i can recognise. and im rarely wrong. my good ol' spidey sense hardly ever fails me.

MH
too many visionaries? maybe not enough? what if most of us were visionaries without any revolutionary plans? there are those that inspired along the way, but how many among us are willing to work on a spark because we simply do not possess that kind of belief system or we just think we do not have the time to invest in a tireless and sleepless world. will you take that chance at walking out of your comfort zone just to follow your dream, your ideal - to make that difference or at least have a shot? and do this with nothing in hand. most people i know will never do it. fine they may talk about it and there is the all too real fear of ending up with nothing to show for. but then isnt that what life is all about. you live in monotony, do you want to die in monotony? what about going to your grave with as little 'what ifs' as possible? there are those times when we be stuck going in circles, but after passing the same stop a few times it makes it easier to just step off.

i will step off. and if i stumble so be it. yeee-haaaaaa!!

before i forget, this evening on my way to the cave, theres this 11 year old whos listening to staind. and he thinks staind is the best band in the world. they maybe good, but maybe hes a bit too young to be feelin the angst driven vocals of aron lewis.

right now tho, them donuts be tastin mighty fine and vicariously i, live while the whole world dies, you all need it too, don't lie, why can't we just admit it?

end of days

holidaze, that is.

welcome break. and i hardly answered my fone. it was on silent for the most part. and so nice. and i didnt get to do what i planned, i.e. watch a lot of movies, weeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllll..........i slept thru most of the weekend.


the temperatures have dropped quite a bit. winter, winter where for art thou?

me:excuse me but i think someones left the water running and its made its way out onto the floor
that:what sir?
me:i think someones left the water running and its made its way out onto the floor
that:what sir?
me:theres water on the floor{somewhat annoyed}
that:i'm sorry sir i don't understand what you're saying
me:look, you know water?...
that{nodding}
me:...theres a lot of it on the floor{...1...2...3...4}
that:i'm sorry sir, i cannot understand what you're saying
me:just send somebody upstairs
me{die, die, die u moron die!!!!!!}

so somebody may have slipped and broken their neck. i did my part.

suits, botox and more suits

so the day starts beautifully. the weather is great. on my way to work and im thinking i shud be playin cricket instead.

i take the bus to work. i recognise a lot of faces, i try n figure how some live their lives. for a while i thought something happened to the old man, he greets all the familiars in the bus. then i saw him a few weeks ago. i think he finally quit. a person that old shudnt be workin, he shud be spending his time with his grandkids(maybe hes doin it now), but situations and circumstance, them be the big killers.

there have a been few additions to the regulars.

the MIB. sometimes they are the MIG(men in grey). and some other times they are the MIRDG(men in really dark grey). one of them, the skinny one with the spiky hair makes me look fat! and the other one is big and never smiling. hmmm, both of em are never smiling. they just walk to the stop and board the bus. then they take their seats. big guy closes his eyes, folds his arms. skinny guy looks out the window.

then theres the 3 boys with suits and their laptops. they board the bus before i do. im willin to bet - new arrivals in the country. hair so neat, shoes so shiny and damn those suits so neatly ironed. need to find where they get their suits laundered.

how can i miss the girl who pulls her hair back so tight(her eyebrows are where her hairline shud begin), i wonder how she manages to do that everyday? botox?? the route is new to her, she always counts stops before she gets off, not too familiar with the area.


i like travelling by bus. its the trip/journey.

'scuse me while I kiss the sky

be very nice to the people you dont like and hey, wonder of wonders, you feel good inside. I rarely be like that and maybe i should do it more often.

just saw the simpsons movie. it didnt have its usual brand of funny, there were those moments but.... thanks to MRC n ZAM, i now have a ton of movies to watch this weekend. muahahaha

and a rare today was. i had a bit of free time. no follow ups, nothin much. maybe i woke up in another dimension. dunno. whatever it is, i had to look busy. got most of my updates done, finance issues taken care of, IT issues sorted for the moment, logistical nitemare is a bad dream for now, loss prevention doubts cleared....hmmmm.

so tired, barely slept these past few nites, but i feel good.

lately things don't seem the same,
actin' funny but I don't know why
'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

i should make peace with all, everyone i know....starting with myself. all?

I know I know I know what is inside

long weekend ahead......

ramadan is just about done. which means i can kill myself in public again!!

business has been excellent.

also working on some projects outside of work. driving me crazy, but then im already there!!

and looking forward to the long weekend. plan to stay in bed most part of the day and yes watch a lot of movies. i plan to be lazee and work on future plans.

its gonna be make or break. as of now, from where i stand, i dont have much to lose, so whatever the outcome........

fight club?? club the fighters....

i hate this.

stupid kids.

they had to fight in my cave. the police are here now. don't know whos fightin who. theres blood. damn. this so sucks.

I, I'm still alive

im dying. i kno it. im dyin............aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!

ok so maybe im not, but it sure feels like it. hate feelin ill like this. dont really know whats wrong, didnt wanna eat me cheese burger this evening. and i luv cheese burgers. i didnt even wanna look at a donut. like i said im dyin. i guess this it, i can see the white light. maybe i shouldnt be walkin into the traffic then! ok there goes the bright light.

i want my mama!!!!!

new blog additions:

and he steps out of the shadow only to reveal the light is merely an extension of the dark - walk the edge.

serious readophile and "drifter" - the mirandian chronicles

sono affamato

God good. Food good.

Yesterday went to this new italian restaurant. alforno its called. i refer to it as alporno.

got to the place(in one piece)with a kooky friend. the drive to the restaurant was hmm, er, ...... we're still alive, so thats all that matters. when one decides to cut from the second to fast lane straight to the detour which is two lanes away, i guess there is this ever so slight degree of risk involved. especially since traffic out here does not like to travel less than a 100kph on any lane. having said all of this, id still get into a car with her in the drivers seat.

she let me eat all her dessert(for that act alone she gets an A+++ in my books). also met the manager of the place. hadnt seen her in months(we work in the same company, shes in casual dining, and i work fashion). she was lookin as good as ever. still has that crazy glint in her eye. our waiter(they sure pick em young these daze) was one of the most eager and kindest people ive ever met. and he suggested right all the time. and yes yes yes! goat cheese rulz. what was the name of that salad again? and ive never seen beef sliced so thin, it looked like tracing paper - mmmmmm thinkin bout it reminds me, i need to eat something. anyways we(TR n me) were both thinkin the same thing thru most part of the meal. she was thinkin wine, i was thinkin beer. we were eating italian, so how can a meal be complete without pasta, because TR didnt finish hers i got to clean it all up. muhahahahaha!!! sheeeesssh, my mother was right. she used to refer to me as the bottomless pit.

when the lights went out, our waiter comes over and says "its a romantic setting". he didnt notice my blank stare in the dark.

look i kno im no good when it comes to describing places i visit n so forth, but this restaurant deserves a couple of trips at least. and i give it a good rating simply because i didnt get poisoned!!!

today i plan on something a little more simple. something iranian.

leave and let live

sometimes one doesnt realise there are people that care.

i am constantly pushing people away and today, when i finally rolled out of bed in the afternoon, i saw all those missed call, those messages....

i need to break down that wall and not be so nihilistic, i suppose, in my approach to the rest of the world.

the faerie tale archive

some years ago i decided to re-write faerie tales. according to VIM, "what really happened"

The Faerie Tale Archive

Tales rewritten, untold and general works. First written in the last quarter of the year 2000.


Little Red Riding Hood

Red was almost done with the jigsaw puzzle. "15 more pieces and I've done it" she thought to herself.

Just then her mother called out to Red. She ran downstairs to find out what her mother wanted. "Take this bluberry pie and these chocolate donuts, and deliver them to Granma. You know how she loves my blueberry pies. Now run along...." said Red's mother.

The path to Granma's house was through a beautiful forest. Red was soon on her way, basket of goodies and all. Along the way the way she came across a little wooden box. Inside the box there was a bracelet and a little book. This bracelet was nothing like she had ever seen before. She put on the bracelet and began to read the book. What Red had in her hands was a time travel device. "WOW!! I'm going to have so much fun with this later" she thought to herself.

As Red skipped merrily along , out of nowhere (actually the tree in front of her) sprang a wolf. This was a mean looking wolf (now that the pork chops were over and done with, he was hungry again). He licked his lips and moved closer to Red. She knew she would not be able to outrun the wolf, so she quickly set her new found time travel device to the past.

With a push of the button she disappeared. Red tele-transported herself to the Jurassic period. Only to appear in the path of a hungry T-Rex, which wasted no time in gobbling her up.

"Now, I have to look for something else to eat. Hmmm, there's this little old lady who lives all by herself not far from here" thought the wolf.

MORAL:If you are going to time travel, look closely at the time dial before pushing any buttons.

>>yawn<< theres got to be more to life than this

its been one of those daze.

my to-do list looked good end of the day, most everything crossed out. im gettin better or maybe the world is slowin down for me???!!! ??? hehehehe, yeah right!!

had a supplier meeting. poor guy doesnt realise there will be no future orders. dude buy me an m6 and maybe, just maybe, we'll talk!! seriously tho, they cant mess about and think theyll get away wit it. aint gonna happen. damn, im now a corporate clone, a f****n corporate dealer. now that aint good. things i dont wanna be and im slowly turnin into. soon to be corporate vampire. "blood, blood, i want blood!!!"{in ur best transylvanian accent}

after gettin back from work today, i sat there staring at the beautiful(?) blank wall. kyuss playin in the back. and im swayin to some stoner, some 60s n 70s rock. hey krashers, believe you me, if u just have a listen to what i got now, u gonna trip like its the end of the world.

i have one thought that takes centre stage now and again....should i leave the land of camel jockeys and try workin in india? perhaps ill give it a shot, hmmm, do i really want to?

its funny when youre alone and look for company and dont find any and then there are those times when you want to be alone and company is plenty.

im a social butterfly......

the great economic divide is something that really bothers.

poverty is not so nice now, is it?



is it?


then we have love...so blind...so twisted. which hurts more then?





paul valery "love is being stupid together"

hehehehe.


i keep receiving these er, really great emails. each letter of the alphabet means something. and instructions to boot!!!

Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.
Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU.

PS : If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

Descriptions:
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgmental.
I - You are always smiling and making others smile.
J - Jealously
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have a very good physique and looks.
W - You like your privacy.
X - You never let people tell you what to do.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone

now think adolf hitler.

into the smoking room

its the twilight zone of the company. where u meet the strange, the new, the unexpected.

ive met someone who has walked barefoot in the snow.

ive met someone who has used a blow dryer to heat up their body.

ive met someone who has pushed the police around because they could, ok fine it was under the influence.

ive met someone who has nearly decapitated the paramedics who were trying to help out.

the smoking room, its not about reducing ones lifespan.....its more than that. yeah right!!!

grapefruits and vinegar

i want to write. need to. but when i look at the keyboard, its a mess. sue me i got scrambled eggs for brains. when u have to deal with 6,475,989.5 issues at the same time, there is a tendency to blow a fuse somewhere. and my blank stare isnt workin anymore. (damn! zombie tactics failing. must find something new, something effective). theyre on to me.

and because im in one of those moods again....
jump of a tall building
punch someone in the back of the head
large cheese burger with fries, onion rings, cheese cake, cookie, a donut, slice of pepperoni pizza
shoot launderer for losing another t shirt
buy more socks
love those new jeans
maybe go back "home" and work there
scream
visit new zealand
almost out of detergent
must finish 3 chapters of book im tryin to write
did i send out the documents???
JC (and its not the Big J) told you, listen to the rod, told u good things would happen
a higher wall
havent been to the avenues in a while
scream
chopa jo = chopa joler
she is so hot but i see her just once a week,hmmm
must grunt more
start readin books again
grateful for dinner
need to get me one of those
mutate
scream
CD thinks im like homer simpson
cohesive
growl
stupid white wall
muanki girls baby talk is the highlight of the week
ache
numb
lynyrd skynyrd
jerry cantrell
the red
"i've been changin' but you'll never see me now"
"its hard to keep from fallin out"
kyuss
yucca
monster
nightmare
void
no slog shots
"i'll be back"
i miss holdin hands
damned trains
damned accident
"everybodys goin to the party have a real good time"

the dream weeper

on my way back from work, when the all too familiar message tone sounds off.

im reading and then i wonder why?
is this all a sign?? hm. hahaha??

we live, we die. lately, ive been receiving way too many messages. cardiac arrest, cancer, car accidents....im losing all my old friends. one by one. and then there were none.

and so when my chest hurts, i wonder if i should kick my nicotine habit. but then who wants to live forever? who wants to live?

as i punch this out, im listening to simple lies. there are a few lines in the song that make sense absolute.......

in death and in distance and time
you walked into my life made that quintessential change
you taught me, you accepted me for all that i was
all that i am
i am eternally grateful, i think of the times spent together
i will not get those times back, memories so distant
some beginning to fade, some so sharp and clear
i smile a wry smile, time the healer is also time the distorter
you left,
some sudden, some with warning
i understood one thing, they get taken away
they get taken away those you get close to

the week has been tumble dryer. ramadan starts today and working hours are shorter. which means more sleep.

peace out.

extended monotony

bite me!!(and yes, im still angry)

time:does it matter?

she"long time no see, where have you been?"
me"right here, just work"{can i be anywhere else}
she"are you avoiding me?"
me"no no why do say that?"{like the plague}
she"no messages, no calls, no emails....how's the blog?"
me"like i said, work. the blog's good"
she"when you planning to travel again?"
me"dunno"{like id tell u}
me"if u pay for my ticket n hotel stay....."
she"ha ha, ur so funny"
me"really now?"
she"what?"
me"are u goin to pay for my ticket....?"
she"ur serious??!!!??"
me"what do u think?"
she"im hoping ur not"
me"what, serious?"[i still havent smiled]
she"ur serious!!!"{shocked}
me"hardy har har, gotcha!!!"{damn there goes my ticket}
she"ha..ha"[kind of nervous laff]
she"u still go to DDs?"
me"there's no other place that'll have me"
she"hey why dont we go out sometime?"
me"really?u wanna go out with me?"{are u nuts???}
me"why??"
she"what do u mean why?"
me"i mean why?"
she"well if u dont want to...."
me{i dont want to}{why me?}
she"u dont want to!!!!!"
me"no its not that, its work"
she"dont use work as an excuse, u DO NOT work 24-7"
me"yeah i dont, but i get back kinda late, and im fried by that time"
she"excuses excuses"
me"er, yeah"
she[wide eyes]"ur an idiot!!"
me"yeah i am"
she[mouth open staring]
me"u gonna stand like that forever? look im an idiot who's fried after all that work. sue me"[irritated tone]
she"why do u talk that way to people?"
me"what are u talkin about? i only talk that way to u"
she[eyes so wide]
she"ur so rude"
me"that i am"
she"why do i even bother?"
me"yeah i wonder the same thing too"
she"guess i shudnt be talkin to u then?"
me"u guess?"
she"i cant believe the things ur saying"
me"whats hard to believe? u just heard it didnt u? u were standing right here when this conversation took place riiiigght?"
she"u r horrible"
me[sighing]"yes that too"
she"why do u do such things? why do u say such things?"
me"u ask stupid questions"
she"it's no wonder ur still single"
me{ahhh finally a comeback}
me"im single bcoz of people like u"
she"what do u mean by that?"[shes like really ticked off now]
me"actually nothing, i was bored and i just wanted some excitement. thank u very much."
she"is this a game to u?"
me"not a game, just wanted some excitement in this mundane existence"
she"ur not strange, ur just f***** weird"
me"not really. now if ur done....."
she"dont ever speak to me again"
me"if u insist"{like it matters, i didnt want to speak in the first place}


im such a charmer!!!

don't look at me like i am a monster.....or am i?

the weathers easin off.

the tremors felt over three weeks ago aint back with a bang (much to my disappointment)

the near car crash hasnt changed anything

ted goin on holiday didnt ease the pressure

and im pretty pissed off


Don't look at me like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother
Holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky crying
Why, oh why?
'cause I need to watch things die
From a distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?

rules to live by.....

scott, dude u rock!!! thanks!!

this site is a must see. ive linked it too. been terrible the past couple of weeks but this guy made me laff so much and the patrons of my cave looked at me laffin away. my sides hurt and i had tears in my eyes.

www.basicinstructions.net


rowe left for the americas early this week. lucky her!! its freezing there.

and FINALLY ive seen something in 3D. ok so it was a documentary. and most likely i might have picked up left over germs from the glasses, which were worn by someone before me. someone who may not have showered for days. someone with skin shredding bacterial infestations. i felt sorry for the lion who lost his pride. he got mauled pretty good even. and i ran out of popcorn.

work was great today. there was a power failure for a few hrs. when it came back on, we had no network. servers were down. then we left for the store. shopped a bit. and i got nice casuals. unfortunately i left them in VIMs car. will collect them tomorrow. also got to hit on somebody while at the store. hehehehe!!

not really interested tho, just did it cuz she was there and i was there and well simply bcoz i could.


last week i went into the head honchos office(i was banned from entering his office for a long time on account that i nearly gave him a heart attack).(er, really). discussed an issue and i left as usual(which is walking backward out thru the door)
the ted: rod, come here
me - took two steps
the ted: closer
me - two more steps
the ted: closer
me - at his table now
the ted: im not a king u know, u can turn ur back on me and walk out
me: u might shoot me in the back
the ted: get out

flashlight reveries caught in the headlights of a truck

zombie rules:

1) you need to be brain dead (there already)

2) you need to be brain dead (there already)

3) you need to be brain dead (there already)

4) you need to single minded, see point 1



early this week i heard one. kinda old but then....

there were three people who went to the zoo. an american, an englishman and a kuwaiti. they walk around looking at the animals. until they reach the enclosure for reptiles.

the three walk in and look down a pit.
the american "an alligator!!!"
the englishman "no, that's a crocodile"
the kuwaiti " you're both wrong, that's a lacoste"


hey rmt, im laffin on the inside. told ya. credit goes to u for lacoste!!!

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

stupid stupid stupid.......

sometimes, just sometimes why can't the universe conspire with me instead of conspiring against?

the end beckons

veni, vedi, what was that third word now?

one things for sure, with the temp hittin 51+ degrees C for most part of the week(54 on fri or was it sat?)....hmmm, i forget what i was gonna punch out, but does it matter?

with news of two former classmates meetin their maker, cant help but wonder whos next?

ok so i dont shave as often as i shud, why dont u ask the girl who sits by the window the same question?

the last 4 weeks have been killer.

i need a drink.



When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why God? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."

...clock ticks life away....

hmmm

the weeks just about done.

lets see now, it began with me goin to work on a sat (which is a day off)

sunday was tiresome as usual. sundays are the worst cuz its all bout the reports. sunday also saw me stayin back to try n finish all that was pilin up. no success there.

monday was. there was a little incident in the smokin room. u see, i went there for a smoke. and as usual i was mindin my own business. anyways there was a company mate already there. i grunted to acknowledge her presence. a few seconds later i was asked the question of death. this a question that has no safe answer, none what so ever. and there is no man alive on the planet who can prove me wrong. all the others have died tryin to answer the question.
shes asks me "do i look fat?"
my mind was racing, talk bout the devil n the deep blue. those few agonising seconds were eternity. heard somebody walkin to the smokin room .{saved i am} i thought. it was another female. then female no. 1 turns to her and says "he said im fat" and they both look at me with that look. any guy who has been in a situation like this knows what the look is. no explanations needed here. and all the while i didnt even say a thing. i quickly put out my cigarette and ran. yes yes i am a coward. well id rather be a coward alive than a brave one dead.

sometime later im at the smokin room again. and shes there, again. this time shes talkin to one of the guys from debs. theyre talkin bout height. so he asks me how tall i am and i answer. he then leaves me alone with her. and shes talkin all the time. i havent said a word to her yet. two guys from another brand enter and she says to them "he's makin fun of me cuz im short". i didnt say a thing. woe is me and better still why me?

later that evening went to one of my favs places in q8, and believe u me q8 does not have much to offer. al jarir bookstore. they have it all there. and then the bday wishes started comin in. makin me realise it was gettin late and i had to work next day.

heppy budday me. prove it! is it?
im late to work. well early cuz im in before 8 but late by my standards. i always head to the printer first then to my seat. and then they start in automated sequentiality. i stood there. didnt kno what to say or do. then zam goes" awwww, he's embarrased!!" {and i was} "c'mon say thank you".
and i thanked each and everyone. if i was paid a dinar for every thank you that day......
a few moments later, zam calls us the cbu into the sample room. i thought she was goin to officially announce sb's resignation. she did and then they handed me stuff. cool stuff. the best thing i got were socks. yes yes, sounds strange but a man cant enuff underwear and socks. wow. really. i really never expected any of this. now this was a surprise. a real surprise. and once again i had nothin to say. i just didnt kno what to say. u see, i more used to givin than receivin, and if that happens i dont how to react. then my dear crew did something really nice and weird. they got me lunch. socks n stuff n food. what more cud a guy ask for? well a lot, but this was nice. nice. i work with a strange crew. no question. and its all our individual electro-eccentricities that create the somewhat twisted dynamic that only our crew has in the entire company. thank God for that. the company wudnt be able to handle more than one bunch of nutters.

i just wondered why mom didnt call. ahhh, but she did. she waited until it was a certain time. u see, she called at the hour i was born. that rocked totally. we spoke a long time. she finally asks "how do u want me to pack ur cds?" lol. mom n me usually have one way of talkin and that is - grrr, snarl, snap, grrr. but shes my mom and thats how we talk. lol. hmm, im willin to bet if she knew somebody was comin to q8 just before the day she wud have baked a cake. yeah u have to taste her choco cake.

thank you all for the calls, txts, emails. really, i didnt kno i had so many friends who remembered the day the of the damned. my heppy budday.

the day ended with alcohol runnin thru my veins. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. nice.

there are bits n pieces i cant cant recall right now that made the day slightly off-centered.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

whatsinaname?

when we are born our parents deem it necessary to label us, so as not be confused with the cd player or family car.

we grow up learnin to respond to that label/handle. our mark of identity. we tend to remain unique. until we get to school, only to find that our label/handle/moniker might not be unique after all. (i was lucky, i suppose, all thru school and college nobody shared my name. so i guess that made me unique!!) then things begin to get a little bit nasty. when kids add to ur existing label/handle/moniker/sign-in. unfortunately its hardly anything nice. who wud want to go thru his/her school life known as jabba the hutt or a demonised plaything from the nether regions.whats scary is if one starts to believe in the new label/handle/moniker/sign-in/tag. whats worse is if one day u suddenly realise the kids called u jabba the hutt, cuz u resembled a giant slug.

high school brings with it its own set of traumatic endorsements. so now jabba the hutt cant even get a date cuz the guys/girls think of consequence. now really, wud u want jabbas tongue in ur mouth???!!!

well finally one day u get a job. and eventually turn into a zombie. but by this time it doesnt matter what anybody calls u cuz ur brain dead anyways. then u decide to marry.(hey jabba didnt just magically appear, he had parents too, u kno) ur husband/wife calls u darlin and honey and sweets and..... 11 years, 2 kids, another mortgage, a mistress/secret lover, 3rd car later - begins to call u by ur real label/handle/moniker/sign-in/tag/title which is.....(wrong) ur now jabba for life. even ur kids call u jabba. the neighbors dog with the doggie urinary infection pees on u. even the old lady down the street spits on u cuz she thinks ur hell's reject.

so whats in a name? ur identity. u.

fishing upon a star....

i.r.a. is back!!

still crazy as ever. he missed being blown to smithereens. and all he did was go out for a ciggie!

i work with a strange bunch of people. the crew has incorporated a new member. dangerous even she is. she is known as taps aka tappu aka ila aka...... it goes on. sometimes names are changed to protect the innocent, sometime names are changed becoz interpols after you. take ur pick. last week taps got a lil fish in a bowl. happy she was. she went home and put the bowl on the piano. next mornin, flipper is dead. fishy heaven. flipper obviously thought it was a bird and jumped out the bowl. my guess is when it hit the ground, it realised that it wasnt.

which brings me to my other fish tale. SP has a fish that would swim around lazily. well, early this week, she spent a few days at a friends place. only goin back home to feed nemo. one time she decided to add a little more food than usual. two days later....she went back home to find nemo......not quite dead, but not really alive. he was kinda floating and strugglin to breath(give it some laxative says VIM). my guess here is too much food and nemo couldnt breathe. the particles musta choked his tiny little gills. the laxative would ensure that nemo would be in a lot of shit. back to the start of this tale. SP has a fish that floats around lazily.

lay these gentlemen

ladies n gentlemen, i give you................
"
















"

teachers rule!!

betcha DDs missed me yesterday.

met Sister Carmen Mary yesterday. i was kinda nervous. 25 years have passed since she taught me, fourth grader. sheeesshh. she looked so different, i mean i guess i never really expected her to grow old, everyone does. and she looked so frail. and she was the one who kept pullin me ears!!!

when we (my relatives n me) got there, she was attending to someone, and i was thinking "maybe it wasnt a good idea, maybe i shud leave, maybe this, maybe that...". like i mentioned a few posts back, im not the kind to get nervous, but this.....

the evening was very pleasant.

later on we went to hardees, i been hankerin for a tex-mex meal for a while now and i finally got it. burp!!

bye bye mrs scholes

tried to post this on the 25th, but the blog gremlins made sure it wasnt to be.

i am very slightly anti-social. ok, maybe a bit more than that. so when invite came in, i was apprehensive.

did think about it for a while. she is a good friend and heck!! and there i was. pool party. food(which i didnt have much of). then there was the vodka/malibu punch. now that rocked. not forgetting the south african n uk wine collaboration.

when we got there, we were greeted by the aroma of bbq. mmmmmmmm. parked ourselves on the edge of the roof. the pool is on top of the building. the breeze picked up and began blowing the smoke in our direction. tad bit uncomfortable. we looked at the pool. which was filled with a menagerie of inflatables. there

was jaws, nessie, something from 20000 leagues under the sea, a floating castle and some other creatures. u kno, there were more creatures than pool.

been a while since i got buzzed(just the once after i got to india) like that. and becoz i wasnt swimmin(for those not in the kno, im a pretty good drowner) i was duly elected camera guy. i warned them but nobody listened. got people doing their goodbye bit for G. also almost got hit by a man-made tusnami(thats exactly how i pronounce it) this becoz the whole bunch of nutters decided to jump in to pool all at once. i got it all on camera. the pool games, some butt and, as i was told the next day, a whole lot of cleavage. hmmm, honestly i dont remember doin anything of the sort. hey in my defence it was a pool party and they were in bikinis, so i guess, er, um, there had to be a little bit of cleavage right? hopefully i will get to see all my handiwork in a few days time when i get a me a copy. over and above, i was told that the vid was hilarious. so there! one of my fav bits was when G n me were singing, ok screaming, out an oasis tune. we were right in front of the speakers tryin to drown them out with our melodic vocal strains.

soem time into the evening, felt like i cud put out a fire on the first floor. so dear EM gives me the keys to his place. unfortunately for me, i went to the wrong place. i wonder if i scared the people livin there by tryin to force their door down. look people a full bladder will make u do thing, it gives u superhuman strength. hey it had the same #. then i go back up and take the other elevator to finally make to EMs place. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! look ma i can jump.


well G left. we got her something really nice from tiffanys. a jewelled pendant thingy and a beer mug(yes from tiffanys). it was awfully quite after she left. guess we all miss her zany presence.


the week at work was killer. every shipment in the last two weeks have had documentation issues. each and every one. why does this always happen only to us?


heres some thought for food courtesy krashers:

why God created women
actually in the beginning
He created a vagina
the He wanted the vagina to move around
so God created woman


oh and btw the post is censored, for an unabridged version please get in touch wit me directly.

give

www.give.org

"Qu'ils mangent de la brioche"

was gonna blog of the heat and the psycho dude run-in at the signal. but ive just got an old friend on orkut(still cant believe i started, was always against it). anyways reminded me of the time when we were hungry and it was "let them eat cake!"

{trippin on audioslave - ur time has come, geez morello u rock!!!}

it was the early 90s, when i was still kinda young. every sat after classes we wud go straight to church (i was kinda good then, the horns still quite make their appearance). one saturday, we decided not to attend service. tired n hungry, we made our way to the Don Bosco kitchen. mmm chai!! hot even!!(sounds goldilocksy here) the chai was amazing. slightly refreshed we sat and chatted. waited for mass to finish and made our way home.

the following saturday, we decided to cut service again and made our way up to the fathers' refectory. now these guys kno how to eat. so the bananas, biscuits, bread and a whole jar of jam disappeared. we snuck out.

the weekend after the biscuit caper, we got hungrier. whats that? "GULA" you say, perhaps.

we got bolder. this time after sneaking into the fathers refectory we found cake. it was a thank you cake. oooooooo!! hunger can do such things to ones mind. we looked at the cake, we looked in the refrigerator. we looked back at the cake. we looked on the counter. we looked back at the cake. the cake beckoned so. we were young and impressionable and hungry. so we did what any self respecting hungry person would do, we took the cake.

as we were lifting the box, the gurkha(his name:ganesh) found us. he wanted to shine in the eyes of father(crap i forget his name). we walked with ganubhai and i still had the box in hand. he didnt notice it. my mad friend aka madman3 tried talkin to ganubhai. i attempted to blend with the shadows(successful attempt at that). and made my way to a low point in the barrier wall. i jumped, cake n all. madman3 found me later, he was laffin. he made his great escape by talkin his way out. we go back to my building to find only two of the fellas there. so one cake into 4 huge pieces.

good God our stomachs hurt like heck the next day.

tagged and now in a museum for the spartans

10 weird things
8 facts

what do you guys not kno already?

FACTS

1) cant use chopsticks (tried n tested)

2) can smoke 3 packs a day (its gone up further and im tryin to quit)

3) can outstare most people (heck ive outstared everybody whos tried)

4) the whole donut thing - jelly filled even. one bite

5) can live on only pepsi, ciggies, coffee and water for days on end

6) can walk around 45kms in 11 hrs or so

7) can lower heart rate to around 40 bpm from 90 bpm in a minute

8) i am insane (so ive been told)


WEIRD THINGS(im not weird, the world is, im just outnumbered)

1) can actually fall asleep with eyes open (done that a few times)

2) have trouble sayin ralph lauren (gotta say it real slow to get it right)

3) will have chocolate cake with almost anything ( rice n choco cake, fries n choco cake, burgers n choco cake, pasta n choco cake....)

4) will get nervous just before leaving for anywhere, but not in meetings, on planes

5) will wear a suit to a pub becoz i feel like it

6) calling up cousin to find out if i have any weird points

7) that i have so many black shirts (which btw i think is normal, it helps. no time wasted on deciding what to wear, again im told this is strange)

8) can sleep almost right away even after a cup of strong coffee

9) can fall asleep with loud music playing, but will wake up if my fone buzzes thru the loud music

10) im not insane (so i keep telling myself)


for those who havent seen them yet here they are -




ive been tagged. in more than one way, lol.

mindspace....the final frontier??

day 2.

is there a way to magically pay your rent, buy lunch, buy clothes....all this without goin to work?

maybe there is, maybe there isnt.

saw a movie last night. being at crossroads so often in life, i can fully understand the lead charactersalmost dual nature. it was a world of fantasy, but then there is truth to imagination. it does spring from some influence, an experience and the minds ability to explore and at times distort.

mindfields are so rich in what they have to offer, what they have lurking in the shadows, what they are capable of.

looking forward to dinner.

the things i do...

and now theres a chat box!!!!!! ----->>>>
hehehehe!!!
i dont have a life, lol!

48 degrees and counting

back in kuwait.

ho hum. im so excited. ho hum.

met my realtives, met a good friend, then went to another friends place late in the night so we could ring in his birthday.

went to a party this afternoon. hmm, i need to learn to socialise some more.

somebody actually asked me if the tattoo was painted on. all he got was a stare. and for the record i tried to smile.

back in DDs, did i miss the donuts or what???

since im orkuting, see how it turns out and if i locate long lost people.

return to monotony

flyin back in a few hours. trip was good. met a lot of people, didnt meet 'em all. was a long n hot n humid day. exhausted.

betcha theres gonna be some character with a lot of stupid questions sittin just beside me. usually get those. lol. character magnet, sheeeesh!

see u whenever, india.

signin out

"home"

well the timers out, cuz d-day arrived and thats that.


250507 11.59pm

jazeera has been impressive so far. after all the horror stories i had heard....it was one of the air stewards' bday - damn no cake!! sittin right up front. got my leg room space. wished them plane fliers didnt shut the door. cud have had their view.

since i have the leg room, i also have super ample lappie room which means i am punchin this out as we fly in total black.

navigation in the dark, who da thunk it when the wright bros got the first man made wings off the ground albeit twas a fluke(sorry icarus, urs melted and that was that). it shoudnt have taken off, the construction was all wrong - history 101. if that day wasnt windy, would they have continued? their dream was almost at its end at the time.


280507 6.30pm

"do u want an anesthetic?"
"yeah, maybe, yeah just to be safe"
"i'll do just a bit and if it hurts, i'll give u a local"

it didnt hurt as much as i anticipated. people say it hurts like heck. it was actually a "stinging buzz". the outlining stung at some points. the inking process felt like it was pulling at nerve endings at times.

it is whole and incomplete. perhaps before i leave i will finish it. yup, thats what i'll do. anyways after it was done the whole area was a stinging itch.

do i have a high threshold for pain?(id like to think so) still it actually felt good. hmmm, im thinking i need more. lol.

my first tattoo.

now, there is no turning back!!

got some more to do before i post pix.



020607

it is hot and humid.

the rains finally made their way to bombay. the temperature has eased off somewhat. i met my cousin a couple days back. after 7.5 years. made me think of when we were kids and whenever i was on vacation in india, we would play "mechanic". that meant we were armed with hammers and screwdrivers. then we would pull out all his toy cars and beat it all into blocks of tiny steel. now, we just spoke and had a few frosty ones. worked on his lappie. exchanged software and then parted ways.
"see you whenever dude, keep in touch for real this time"

got on the train around 12.30. two stops later this guy walks in. and believe u me when i say this was one of the scariest people ive ever seen. i wanted to take a pic, but what if he caught me and used his claws(i bet they were there, hiding under his over sized shirt sleeves). u kno when u see something gruesome u dont want to look but u cant turn away either...anyways it would be impolite to stare, i couldnt tell which way he was looking. those eyes were pointing in all directions, talk about dahisar-poisar. and then i was kinda saved. my friend called. sometimes cell fones are the best things around. she helped thru the monster-in-my-face ordeal, talking me all the way thru till i got home. u kno, it is quite possible, that cro-magnon survived and is living in india. hasnt evolved much from the looks of it.

it was also a full moon last night, my not shaving bit only added to my misery. my dreams of lycantropy remained unfulfilled again. i howled all the same, a soft mournful howl.

wowsers, the winds just picked up. and the sky has turned all dark. here comes the rain! yee-haw.



030607 9.30pm

moms bday today.

met with an old friend. this woman is like, umm, how do i put this? TOTALLY PSYCHO!!!! lol
her lil one is one crazy kid, unfortunately he was recovering from an illness, he kinda had this bob marley look about him thanks to all the medication. he showed me a lot of his book collection(btw, he's 2 years near abouts). son when u grow a lil older, tell ur mama u need inspiration, namely me. u got potential kid.
i feel so sorry for her husband, really N, my sympathy and condolences. hehehehe!! hey M, gotcha!!
u kno they cud actually open a bookshop. seriously. i have seen books and i have seen books, but these guys got something almost surreal goin here. hey, M, gimme a bit of time i'll help expand that wall, u guys will eventually need another place for ur books.
and thank you very much for the grub and other things, for a stupid kid(well she is a kid, cuz im like this really old man n stuff, [koff koff, haruummmppph!!])well spoken and u guys r right. thank u very much. keep on rockin. regards to K.

chetz, ur folks rock!! u r one blessed son. er, are they willin to adopt?

hey sam, i hope the best for you and i hope this works out for u. and i mean that from the bottom of my arse, whooopsie doo, meant heart there. hehehehe!!

krashers and capn jp, we spoke. u kno what was stated is fact. now as the new title says take the leap. nike. sorry bout the aerosmith thingy, really wanted to be there, there will always be a better next time. thanx for the crazy call, we were listening, lol. i kid u not.

RL, u deserve what u deserve n nothin can take that away from u. that dream will be urs......very soon. u will call and tell me that.

mrs. M, u kno how to fill an empty stomach!!!!!

8%v/v.


040607

finally get to post all of this. ooooooooooooooooooo!!!! next week same time will be at work. crapasaurus.

tickity tock tickity tock...

look to the right folks...

4...3...2...

5 working days = 45 hours = 2700 minutes = 162000 seconds (not counting the extra time i normally put in)
6 days to board.
i never liked the travelling bit. i wish i could just teletransport. would save time and energy. soooooooo looking forward to the crowds and traffic and packed trains.

this was last year. and knowin bombay things can only get crazier. this was at 10.55pm. virar bound train. i had a great evening with a good friend and then it was time to go back home. andheri station and was greeted by this....lol!!

7...6...5...4...

5 more working days.

black is so black innit?

the smoking room is as usual, er, smoky.

i am usually asked one question - why do u always wear black?
i like black. bite me.

u can wear black to a funeral
u can wear black to a party
u can wear black to a meeting
u can wear black if ur doin a mission impossible thing
i wear black when im happy
i wear black when im upset
look black is my fav colour. when people dress like rainbow puke, thats ok?
if i want to infuse colour in my life, i will look for different shades of black. and if it bothers anyone so much they shud simply stop lookin in my direction. ok the guys shud stop. the girls can continue....

oh yeah, check out teacherlady, in the company of strangers known, shes good!

did u kno.....?

the conspiracy continues...

what conspiracy u may well ask. look around. cant u see it? u cant? tsk tsk! tell u what, i'll let u in on a lil secret. theyre all around. u think u kno people, then i ask of you - what do u kno?

ur files have shifted ever so slightly, the screen is tilted at an angle that ur not accustomed to - again so slight but a change nevertheless. heck, ur spidey sense is goin ballistic. still u keep stomping straight into neverland. thats when they really have you. u use tracker and anti-trackers, all ur pinging of outside forces will not stop them. they kno. u kno they kno and they kno u kno they kno.

u think the hot girl thinks ur hot. wake up. shes gonna get in ur head and hopefully some other places(cant talk of those places now, can we? blog has been rated 15). hey they do what they can to get the juice, i mean info. but then what if ur one of them? u dont kno it but ur gathering all this info and when the time is right u unload and u disappear again. only to be "born" in another part of the world. where things seem vaguely familiar. did u read about it? did u see this on tv? not sure? think about. NOTHING IS RANDOM. THERE IS NO COINCIDENCE.(i kinda have a theory to back that up).

ur rage is my rage. ur beliefs may not necesarrily be mine but the road we walk is just about the same. the system is eating us up. bound we all are. virtual innocents( this term courtesy VIM)we may be. the ones that reached in and ripped up, destroying every shred of humanity - justice will be done. yes i am angry. fed with the lies that u claim is for protection of a just cause. take ur venom and bite ur kind.....fill them with the poison u use to infect us............i am angry. and i will do something about it. for my heart goes out to the wounded, the hurt, the disenchanted, to the ones who have given up, to the ones who have lost, to the ones who remain unmoved because of of hope lost. there is a balance. the words of a mortal who will live on forever beacuse of an undying spirit. my love is urs(and U kno).

today i have decided to make a stand. in my own way i will do what i have to do.

if i disappear, they kno i kno and they kno i have proof.

have a nice day.

2 cows

you woulda probably read some of these, found a lot more on RoaAC. Thanks teacherlady!


You're probably already well aware of the bovine political and economic commentary that begins with the words "you have two cows...", but just in case you missed a few (or all) of them entirely,

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.

ARTIST -- VISUAL: You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.

BAHRAINISM: You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to milk all the cows at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

BRITISH: You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.

BRITISH -- MAJOR: You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.

CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.

CENTRALISM: You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.

CONSERVATIONISM: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk. Once.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.

COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.

COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.

COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).

COMMUNISM -- CHINESE - MAO STYLE: You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.

COMMUNISM -- CUBAN - CASTRO STYLE: Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder," works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.

COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.

COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.

COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.

COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.

COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.

DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN (a republic): You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances, including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section 4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and balances mentioned above.

DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.

DUBAISM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years' time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention. Your cows are tended to by underpaid migrant workers and your cows' rights outweight those of your workers.

EGYPTIANISM: You have two cows. Both are voting for Moooooobarak! Or not. He gets "elected" anyway.

EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two goats. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).

EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows. You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.

IDEALISM: You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.

INDUSTRIALISM: You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.

IRAQISM: The British Government sends in a herd of 20 cows in a trial run to help a village outside Basra. The villagers are extremely grateful for the extra milk and the health of the children improves daily. A terrorist group then kidnaps the cows and accuses them of being traitors to "the cause." The terrorists then produce signed confessions from the cows and systematically assassinates each one in front of Al Jazeera television cameras.

KUWAITISM: Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc.) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically killed in a massive pile-up while their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers.

LEBANONISM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.

LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.

LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.

MARXISM/LENINISM: The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.

NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.

NEW DEALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.

OMANISM: You have three cows. They are all healthy and produce good quality milk for sale at the market. Unfortunately, your son discovers that the money he received at the market can be used to buy beer. Your grand expansion plans for a new high-tech farm are put on hold indefinitely.

PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.

PEROTISM: You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexico.

PLATONISM: You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.

PLATONISM: You have a reflection of two perfect cows. Their milk tastes like water. You look for two real cows to milk.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.

QATARISM: You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

REDISTRIBUTIONISM: You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.

SAUDIISM: You have two cows. Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.

SIMPSONISM: Don't have a cow man!

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

SOCIALISM -- PURE: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a
barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

SOCRATIC METHODISM: How many cows do I have? Why?

SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.

TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."

UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

YEMENISM: You once had a cow. But then it got kidnapped.


oooo boy!!

have a nice weekend