the walls gettin higher.....in isolation i die

been a long week.

and i found out i am so good,and dont even know it.yep!!

works been drivin me crazy but im so drawn to it. there be many voids to fill and work has always been a great filler. feelin agigated lately and i dont kno what to do.

met wit some friends yesterday evenin and we went out for dinner. to a restaurant that specialised in nothingness. we spoke a lot about work. i dont have anything else to talk about(i like to work, i like my job, i just wish things were fair, but thats racism for you). and the girls threatened me. "we wont go out with you if u keep payin" {sue me}. hey if u dont wanna go out......

i am still feelin somewhat ill from last week. i havent had time to recover, went straight back to work after i found out i could stand again. but then thats how im built.

last week im told not to hate the world so much. and not to hate myself. i dont hate myself, i just dislike a lot of things, hmmm, notetoself:shave more often. maybe its not the world i hate but the world i kno. and i kno i definitely dislike what i see. dystopian reality in an egalitarian dream!! hardy har har!! last week also had to go face to face. and i came out on top. but that still didnt change the fact that what happened was not right. im not right all the time, but when i am , I AM! deal with it you loused up fucktards!!

this mornin-

dipstick: what is that?[pointing to my forearm]
me: what...? [and i look past it and on to the ground behind me thinking hes pointing to something on the ground]
dipstick: that, that...[pointing again]
me: oh that, its nothing [i realise hes pointin to my tattoo]
dipstick: what longage?
me: japanese
dipstick: u speak japonese
me: no
dipstick: show me [and then the stupid pile of shit moves closer to hold my arm]
me: [moving arm away from him, see i dont like anybody touchin me, its hard enuff lettin people who kno me touch me. i dont liked to be touched by anybody. very few people allowed that. i dont go touching anybody, so i expect the same]
dipstick: what it means?
me: it means something
me: i have to go
dipstick: i just being friendly, no serious
me: {not in a mood for this u shitbag, really im not, go far away}
dipstick: show me show me {hes getting closer and tryin to hold my forearm]
me: why are u talkin to me?
dipstick: i just being friendly, just want to see. what religion u are? where u are from?
me: ur asking too many questions, and i dont like it. [very very annoyed tone]
dipstick: i just being friendly
me: i dont care, ur wasting my time and ur asking too many questions
dipstick: u dont like? [he had this look, bet he practised it a lot in front of a mirror, a look of surprise. surprised that someone doesnt want to talk to him)
me: no, i dont like [by this time, my voice was very high, walking away from him]
dipstick; oh ok, i will not ask question, why you angry?
me: {i wish killin dipsticks was legal}


great news this mornin, actually this afternoon, my bro (hes part of the fantastic four) got a lil girl. the strange part is theres this word (hyatt = life)stuck in my head from sometime last week. and guess what he calls her.....we spoke for quite a while. he may come down to kuwait for a few daze. we got a lot of catching up to do.



and finally for all those who want to quit their job but dont kno what to write....



Dear Sir,


Subject: Resignation

















I Love Your Wife.











Thank You......... ...












GOD so rules!! truth be told here, i lag behind, disappointed and feeling condemned and angry, but HE sure knows how much punishment i can take and then HE pulls me out like nothing has happened and everything is sorted out. i may not be religious in a way conventional, ive had my share of x-file experiences with GOD, but what HE did for me this week and i asked HIM because there was no way out but a gun, and HE was there. HE WAS THERE!!