follow your heart

i heard it today.

and i was listening.

i will ride into the sunset.....

it all started with a donut

perhaps i was in the twilight zone. yeah, thats got to be it.

she must have been one of the most beautiful creatures i have ever seen, if not the most. what made it better was that she had two boxes of donuts and a bag full of french bread. manna from heaven. i dont think it can get better than that. fresh bread and donuts. God, if only she had some chocolate cake, then id reckon she was an angel. so she gets to the door before me and holds it till i get there. both hands full. she holds it open with her elbow. and she smiles. and i go "uh, er, uh, thank you". smoooooooth, real smooth!!

sheeeeshh.....

got an extra day off today. making it a three day weekend. dont have much to do. actually i do, but dont feel like doing much of anything. just wanna laze. plan to the same tomorrow as well.

the week has seen the temperature drop. and you know its cold when in the morning you finally crawl out of bed and your testicles decide not to join you. only because its warmer under the blanket. it dropped to a degree on sunday and monday saw the temperature at 2 degrees. still i prefer the winter to a hot summer day any time. the only uncomfortable bit is when one steps out of the shower. i suppose a shower at 5.30 in the morning isnt exactly the way some people would like to start their day, especially so on a cold cold winter morning.

with news of the assassination of benazir bhutto, i would like to formally state that if i dont die of natural causes, i would like my death to be termed an assassination. the assassination of RA by Phillip Morris. hmmmm. yup thats how it should read. if this be the season of peace and love then why does violence push and shove its way through the traffic? the season has been highly over rated. i dont know that the Big J would like the way things are. and just because the church, the clergy, the political mafioso of all things religious deem that the 25th of december is the birth of The Saviour, it means that that is the day. two words - prove it.

commercial establishments have ensured that the Big J's commonly celebrated birth date, is to bring about economic prosperity to a certain few. well then merry corporate christmas to one n all. how many actually gain from it? do we have to wait for this day or this season to be all warm and friendly and full of cheer? one does not have to be the grinch to know fact from corporate fiction. that we need special days to celebrate or emote is dismal. ours is a dystopian world. plagued by unintentional dreams and relative fatigue.


Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavour
It happens to be like;
Killed by the husband
Drowned by the ocean
Shot by his own son
She used the poison in his tea
And kissed him goodbye
That's my kinda story
It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother
Holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky crying
Why, oh why?
'cause I need to watch things die
From a distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?

We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
Neither the brave nor bold
The writers of stories sold
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing

I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain come down
Drawn on grave and ground

Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Stare at the transmittal
Sing to the death rattle

La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie

Credulous at best your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head on out
Your head believes it give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again
The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive, so it is
So it's always been

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I


25th december is the birth of Robert Ripley, Atal Vajpayee, Nawaz Sharif, Marcus Trescothick...we can celebrate their birthdays. at least that is confirmed and fact. hmmm....merry vajpayeemas or sharifmas or trescothickmas. interesting that.

the Big J was here to save and we maligned.

eh?...say again?

its freeeeeeezzzzzzzzziiiiingggg!!! and i like!! daze like these i luv. cloudy and cold. unfortunately the rain is kinda messin up my idyllic dreams. still the temperature drop has been quite fantastic.

for now there be many questions that plague most of us mere mortals such as:

1) first and foremost, why do mannequins have nipples?

2) is santa claws the illegitimate spawn of a grizzly and satan on a drunken nite out?

3) did frosty the snowman really sell all those drugs to kids on the street before one of them decided to empty his bladder on frosty?(poor frosty he didnt kno what to do, he just started to melt away)

4) and when granma got run over by a reindeer, what was she doin standin the middle of reindeer street?

5) why did mommy kiss santa claws? was she messin around with him? and where was daddy at the time?

6) dear dear rudolph...u were shunned by ur clan and when they found a use for u, u went straight back to them!! why was rudolph so desperate for attention by his kind when all they wanted was his nose?

7) most importantly, why would anyone want a big hairy guy come to their house in the middle of the nite to, er, deliver presents? santas a paedophile.


so remember boys n girls the truth is out there. and so is santa.

seasons greetings y'all!!

smoking helps....really it does!!?! you believe that??

standing in the cold, sipping on my chocolate milk and smoking my life away...i thought "whos been the most influential people i know, and in my life?" good or bad. they did influence.

back in my room. wrapped up in my blanket.
hendrix is playin

so people walk into our lives to
- change our belief systems
- question our motives
- ruin our lives (rise from the ashes to either seek retribution or learn to be wary)
bad company playin now {i like my new play list}
- better them
- help us see. we are blind and deaf most of us
black crowes playin now

i have learned from my father. the man is a very hard worker. will not miss a day of work unless he cant get out of bed. work hard and straight.

i have learned from my mother. to forgive(it took me all of 32 years to do that). observing my mother i have actually learnt a lot about how a woman operates. me thinks my sisters and their friends also helped there. {i may not necessarily exhibit, play dumb and learn more}. my mother is a very strong woman, she may not realise, but for a woman to go thru what shes been thru since she was a child and then to raise us. respect man! absolute!! if ever the term one man army applied...this is it. stand your ground, take up the challenge and fight. even if youre alone. your strength lies in the simple fact that you are able to achieve.
lynyrd skynyrd playin now

i have learned from sister carmen mary. she taught me when i was in fourth grade. its a wonder i still have my ears. she always pulled them real hard. i think the real lesson was not in the new words she gave us everyday but the very exercise. challenge the new and gain!
motherlove bone playin now

i have learned from mrs. mathulla. she taught me when i was in 9th and 10th grade. a friend and me once got into trouble. for a crime we did not commit. he came over to my place and told me about the problem. we left immediately to mrs. mathulla's place. had to have our names cleared. what surprised us - she knew we didnt do it. and she spoke to us for a very long time. and that day she asked a question(which i think was pivotal in the shaping of our lives then) it made us think and we moved to a different line of reasoning. {RK, dude, i knocked on on your door when all these years you were seeking mine}. and damn i shouldnt have taken my mother to the PTA!!
wishbone ash playin now

i recall meeting this person in a pub and all he said was "there is no such thing as luck, only perseverance". there was MG and she once told me "get to where to you have to. even if it means you only have a dollar left in your pocket". the GM of a company "what are you without the brand name?". that guy "take me to your parents. they need to know what their son is doing with my daughter!" {lol, it is funny now, not back then}. VR, in front of class,"the hardest working person this semester has been <"ahem"> ra" {that was a bit face reddening}.
candlebox playin now

there were others things said, but for now i choose only these.

i have learned from my previous relationships you cannot trust, regardless of the situation. i have given chances, have to take into account human nature. results have more or less swayed the same pitch.
pearl jam playin now

perhaps some of the biggest influences since i was a child - music and books. the books went away, they will be back soon. not having too many friends has its +s.

when i finally grow up i wanna be wayne rainey.

introspective....yeah i wish

ok....i am smiling...and its official.


the team went out for lunch courtesy the TED. he may drive us crazy, but works work. la porno!!(ok its actually al forno). made a mention of it sometime back. place is great. food is good. dessert is great. bill paid by boss - the best. credit where credit is due, our brand is new, we have our teething issues but then thats expected. and we have a boss who may drive us crazy, but you know what....his passion equals no other. and honestly(i cant lie here, im intoxicated, so that makes it even harder) i would not want to work for anybody else.

and i was good to turkish delight, damn did that woman have to hug?!?! for once i said something nice to her. maybe its the season, maybe it was a good day, maybe its hendrix or wishbone ash or bad company(im goin totally retro tonite), maybe its the fourth glass im on....there could be a lot of maybes. OR maybe its just realisation. bottomline, i should be nicer to people. admit, i am snappy(thats puttin it mildly). my excuse - too much work.

R, you know, give me till this weekend, santa and his henchmen will have a different ending. and krashers, you're gonna see the missing details. admit, it did end abrupt. there was a lot missing in between.

til whenever, keep on rockin the free(?) world.

santa and his little elves

(shortened version)

the night was dark and dreary. on account of the terrific snow storm.

there was a stirring on the roof of the house of 8 kids. santa(satan claws) along with his henchmen, them little helpers were trying to make their way down the fireplace. after all that pushing and shoving santa and his boys were in the house. it was a nice house. the stockings were hung over the fireplace, the christmas tree had real silver ornaments, the furniture was definitely not ikea. antique furniture like that definitely doesnt come from ikea.

some of the helpers went into the kitchen. and some of them went into the cellar. one of the helpers noticed a couple of very rare bottles - a 1787 Chateau d'Yquem and a 1775 Sherry. he very quickly ran upstairs to santa to give him the news.

santa was in one of the childrens' rooms. they were so angelic when they slept like that. soon all the helpers were upstairs amd positioned themselves outside everyones bedroom door. santa pulled out his shotgun. the helpers pulled out their handguns.

screams filled the dead of night just like the sounds of gunfire. blood spattered walls, sheets, floors. no movement. silence. they took all they could carry and santa was on his way to next house.

HO!HO!HO!

the claw

i have known the claw before she came to be known as the claw.

the claw as she is affectionately called by all her mutant friends (oh she has weird antennae growing out of the wound. like in resident evil, towards the end, when mac starts to sprout hair like structure from his wounds) turned out to be more dangerous in this condition. "with mutant power comes mutant responsibility". the claw used her new found mutantness to beat down at everybody who did not appreciate it. not me i wanted to see more. i was hoping to see something grow out from the gaping wounds. but it was not to be. and the claw didnt appreciate that either. a womans mind!

because one is different, it does not give them right to destroy. oh, i am not referring to the claw here. had someone else in mind. anyways, the claw, would drive us up the wall with her delusional yet endearing (<--i use the term very lightly and in a manner obscure, for fear of being ripped to shreds) idiosyncrasies. the claw used to threaten us before, but after her new found mutantness, she started flipping us off, growling even and those tantrums!!!!!!

today the claw will cease to exist. she loses her mutant abilities. that, however, will not stop her from scratching, biting, growling and general maiming and mutilating. she, i believe, has discovered a whole new side. perhaps added a new level to her existing capabilities. i will miss the claw. just as i am sure the claw has missed me many times already, i was always quick to get out of the way every time she took a swipe.

i think there is a school for people like the claw. hmm...thats from a movie. oh well, i yearn eagerly for the return of this "individual". meanwhile, i must take a walk, my lycantrope buddies await.

thank you to those who tried helping out for the donor thing.

the boy has now got himself a donor.

a mighty God bless.

first time....awwww whoop-dee-doo....im gonna hurl

this HAS been a year of firsts. and not in chronological order. write em as i remember em

first tattoo 28.06 had to do it!

first time been called a star(and they meant it !!!) 29.11 i was ahead of the game, and TS saw that. and on the 5th of dec was called it again by ZAM, did something for her and she said i was a superstar!!! oddly enuff, why dont i really feel good about anything?? im feeling somewhat despondent, perhaps non directional.

first time handling it all(well almost all) of merchandising jobs by myself. and yes i more than passed. 01.11

first time had squid 20.03 cant say i'll do it again. but then who knows

first time used chopsticks and failed miserably 13.06 some people, i reckon are not destined to eat using chopsticks

first time began writing free form poetry (if it can be refered to that way)11.02

first time ive actually joined any online communities 17.03 facebook turned out to be an interesting community after all. but for how long?

first time (yes mister u made a very good point on 24th july 2005) i can say yes yes and yes. i dont need a brand name to make it. guess i had a point to prove and i did. sometimes challenges may take time, even self imposed but then life is like a game of cricket.

first time i relied absolutely on the Big Guy and He was there for me 2007 November

first time i took a vacation from work. albeit a very short one 25.05, i was stupid, well im never gonna do anything like that again

first chapter of a book i dont know i will finish writing 15.01


i can recall these, my life is soooooooooooooo interesting. NOT.

my good friend and colleague has a brother who needs a kidney.

he is 32, blood type B+

he resides in india

the family is willing to pay all legal expenses for someone willing to donate a kidney.

anyone who can help.....

my email address: rodney@alshaya.com


thank you all and God bless

thursday......

we broke records!!! sales went thru the roof. the office crew - we were at stores during the weekend helping out. we needed a very high number to meet business plan for the week. and it turned out to be a cakewalk. we exceeded!!!!!!!!