tickity tock tickity tock...

look to the right folks...

4...3...2...

5 working days = 45 hours = 2700 minutes = 162000 seconds (not counting the extra time i normally put in)
6 days to board.
i never liked the travelling bit. i wish i could just teletransport. would save time and energy. soooooooo looking forward to the crowds and traffic and packed trains.

this was last year. and knowin bombay things can only get crazier. this was at 10.55pm. virar bound train. i had a great evening with a good friend and then it was time to go back home. andheri station and was greeted by this....lol!!

7...6...5...4...

5 more working days.

black is so black innit?

the smoking room is as usual, er, smoky.

i am usually asked one question - why do u always wear black?
i like black. bite me.

u can wear black to a funeral
u can wear black to a party
u can wear black to a meeting
u can wear black if ur doin a mission impossible thing
i wear black when im happy
i wear black when im upset
look black is my fav colour. when people dress like rainbow puke, thats ok?
if i want to infuse colour in my life, i will look for different shades of black. and if it bothers anyone so much they shud simply stop lookin in my direction. ok the guys shud stop. the girls can continue....

oh yeah, check out teacherlady, in the company of strangers known, shes good!

did u kno.....?

the conspiracy continues...

what conspiracy u may well ask. look around. cant u see it? u cant? tsk tsk! tell u what, i'll let u in on a lil secret. theyre all around. u think u kno people, then i ask of you - what do u kno?

ur files have shifted ever so slightly, the screen is tilted at an angle that ur not accustomed to - again so slight but a change nevertheless. heck, ur spidey sense is goin ballistic. still u keep stomping straight into neverland. thats when they really have you. u use tracker and anti-trackers, all ur pinging of outside forces will not stop them. they kno. u kno they kno and they kno u kno they kno.

u think the hot girl thinks ur hot. wake up. shes gonna get in ur head and hopefully some other places(cant talk of those places now, can we? blog has been rated 15). hey they do what they can to get the juice, i mean info. but then what if ur one of them? u dont kno it but ur gathering all this info and when the time is right u unload and u disappear again. only to be "born" in another part of the world. where things seem vaguely familiar. did u read about it? did u see this on tv? not sure? think about. NOTHING IS RANDOM. THERE IS NO COINCIDENCE.(i kinda have a theory to back that up).

ur rage is my rage. ur beliefs may not necesarrily be mine but the road we walk is just about the same. the system is eating us up. bound we all are. virtual innocents( this term courtesy VIM)we may be. the ones that reached in and ripped up, destroying every shred of humanity - justice will be done. yes i am angry. fed with the lies that u claim is for protection of a just cause. take ur venom and bite ur kind.....fill them with the poison u use to infect us............i am angry. and i will do something about it. for my heart goes out to the wounded, the hurt, the disenchanted, to the ones who have given up, to the ones who have lost, to the ones who remain unmoved because of of hope lost. there is a balance. the words of a mortal who will live on forever beacuse of an undying spirit. my love is urs(and U kno).

today i have decided to make a stand. in my own way i will do what i have to do.

if i disappear, they kno i kno and they kno i have proof.

have a nice day.

2 cows

you woulda probably read some of these, found a lot more on RoaAC. Thanks teacherlady!


You're probably already well aware of the bovine political and economic commentary that begins with the words "you have two cows...", but just in case you missed a few (or all) of them entirely,

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.

ARTIST -- VISUAL: You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.

BAHRAINISM: You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to milk all the cows at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

BRITISH: You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.

BRITISH -- MAJOR: You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.

CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.

CENTRALISM: You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.

CONSERVATIONISM: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk. Once.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.

COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.

COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.

COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).

COMMUNISM -- CHINESE - MAO STYLE: You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.

COMMUNISM -- CUBAN - CASTRO STYLE: Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder," works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.

COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.

COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.

COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.

COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.

COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.

DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN (a republic): You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances, including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section 4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and balances mentioned above.

DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.

DUBAISM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years' time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention. Your cows are tended to by underpaid migrant workers and your cows' rights outweight those of your workers.

EGYPTIANISM: You have two cows. Both are voting for Moooooobarak! Or not. He gets "elected" anyway.

EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two goats. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).

EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows. You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.

IDEALISM: You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.

INDUSTRIALISM: You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.

IRAQISM: The British Government sends in a herd of 20 cows in a trial run to help a village outside Basra. The villagers are extremely grateful for the extra milk and the health of the children improves daily. A terrorist group then kidnaps the cows and accuses them of being traitors to "the cause." The terrorists then produce signed confessions from the cows and systematically assassinates each one in front of Al Jazeera television cameras.

KUWAITISM: Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc.) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically killed in a massive pile-up while their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers.

LEBANONISM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.

LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.

LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.

MARXISM/LENINISM: The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.

NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.

NEW DEALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.

OMANISM: You have three cows. They are all healthy and produce good quality milk for sale at the market. Unfortunately, your son discovers that the money he received at the market can be used to buy beer. Your grand expansion plans for a new high-tech farm are put on hold indefinitely.

PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.

PEROTISM: You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexico.

PLATONISM: You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.

PLATONISM: You have a reflection of two perfect cows. Their milk tastes like water. You look for two real cows to milk.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.

QATARISM: You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

REDISTRIBUTIONISM: You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.

SAUDIISM: You have two cows. Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.

SIMPSONISM: Don't have a cow man!

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

SOCIALISM -- PURE: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a
barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

SOCRATIC METHODISM: How many cows do I have? Why?

SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.

TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."

UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

YEMENISM: You once had a cow. But then it got kidnapped.


oooo boy!!

have a nice weekend

just when u thought it was safe to get back in the water

couple of weeks and for two weeks after that i dont need to be up at 5 in the morning.

i should be excited right? but dont feel so. maybe just tired. maybe its......

rowe's digicam is in coma. all prayers directed to the quick recovery of the little thing.

45 degrees and we're not even in july/august yet. gonna be one long hot summer.

which reminds me, got this a while back...

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out our air hole at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors were swimming to the safety of the shore.
The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow any seamen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hehe....

i see it every week when i attend service (the horns still there, well ever so slight...), theres a sign asking people to switch mobile fones to silent mode. "if it rings, it isnt God calling, please silence your phones". however theres always some idiot who doesnt want to do it, he/she would rather disturb everybody and the flow. me thinks if ur call is so important, stay out till u receive it and thats that. u see this service is very important to me, its just once a week and i would like to be absolutely focused.

now if u guys dont know how the jews got the ten commandments read on, else.......read on.

God went to the Arabs and said, " I have Commandments for you, that will make your lives better."
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments??? Can you give us an example? "
God said," For example ............ Thou shall not kill."
The Arabs were shocked," What??? Not kill?? ??? No way!? Killing and massacaring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence.No.We are not interested "

So God went to the Africans and said, " I have Commandments."
The Africans wanted an example.
God said," For example ............ Honor thy Father and Mother "
The Africans were dismayed. They said, Father???? Yo maan!?Can't tell for sure, who our fathers are, maan! "

So God went to the Mexicans and said," I have Commandments "
The Mexicans wanted an example.
God said," For example ........... Thou shall not steal "
The Mexicans were flabbergasted.They said," No steal?? ??? No steal????? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh??? Gracias, but no! "

So God went to the French and said," I have Commandments "
The French wanted an example. God said," For example ........... Thou shall not commit adultery."
The French were stunned.They said," What???????Not commit ze adultery ........ ??? Non, Non, Non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous. We ze French, must have ze romance "

So God went to the Jews and said," I have Commandments "
They asked," Commandments?????How much do they cost? "
God replied," They are free."
The Jews answered," Good.We shall take Ten!!! "

joe n me

she"would u like to have a burpafrigginchino? or maybe you'd like to try our simplyexpensivepoopachino?"

me"hm..."

she"sir, this is made of......"

me{is it ok if i pull ur hair and poke ur eyes out}, nodding

she"and this is one is made of....."

me{what if ur head fell into the blender?}

me"really and what about that one?"

she"this one sir is our best....."

me{burp, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, hic, burp}

she"........"

6 minutes and some agonising seconds later.

me"i'll have a latte, thank you. just half a cup of coffee with plenty of room for milk. full cream milk if u have any(yes all fat filled and unhealthy)."

she"is that all sir?"{looking somewhat deflated}

me"just that please"

why cant i get a regular cup of coffee?


.......in bombay 26th may.......