bleccchhhh!!!!!!

.........and it continues

this here is for those who like to consume a bit of alcohol now and then, just a bit, a tiny lil bit.

Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet. Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet). Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights. Cause: You're lying on the floor. Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry. Cause: You're looking through an empty glass. Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving. Cause: You're being dragged away. Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks. Cause: You have your glass on your ear. Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive. Cause: You're in an ambulance. Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny. Cause: You're in the wrong house. Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

im lookin forward to travellin. i kno its a few months away but lookin for a bit of a break. and there will be peace at the work place.

travellin by bus every mornin to work is disgustingly interesting. and why do i have to get the diseased guy sittin behind me. the guy who sneezes and coughs. dude do it outside pleaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeeee. the windows all shut cuz its cold. why me why me????? ive seen a lot of people at work get sick. maybe its the weather, maybe its bcoz they like to eat healthy and not smoke or drnk. now what does that tell u?

hey chetz u drunk enuff yet???lol

these days have been long. and who knows with the right amount of stupidity they could just get worse. look ma im smiling

run baby run...

oh-hum...

walking i spotted a red car. an old toyota. took me a ways back. u see, there was this girl, there was her father and there was her fathers car. and then there was me. "uh-oh, im in a lotta shit!!"(what else is new?). there was also the 20 questions bit.

soon after, we exited the building and thats when i decide to make a break for it. so i ran. and he chased, in his red car. i ran as fast as my little legs could run(hey i wasnt so tall at the time)(ok i wasnt short either). anyways i spotted buildings in the distance. i ran and he continued chasing(gettin filmi here).

made it into the buildings. and stayed there for a couple of hours. it got dark. unfortunately, all headlights meant id have to start running again. his were rectangular, so it was okay. there was panic only if those headlights were seen headin straight to me. home at last. mom-"you're home early!". me-"umm"

it was odd though, he stayed two building away from where i lived. i was either lucky or he was just plain blind.

a few months later, a sunny afternoon, im walking and suddenly - red car!! it slows down, he nodding his head. for that moment my name was mr. nonchalant. the car slowed even more. why couldnt the earth just open up and swallow me? i remained as cool as i possibly could, looked at him and shrugged. the car nealy stopped. if that door had opened, id have bolted.

got home in one piece. lived to see 72.5 seasons after that.

hmmmpphh, idyllic growin up years, hey my hormones were raging, was only 16 at the time!!

peek-a-booo

i had to...... lol

bhookh lagle re

so she says,"today i got to know its you-the devil blogging....."
lol
shes a good friend. an old friend. didnt get to say goodbye to her when i left the country some months ago. she was travelling at the same time. she called. we spoke for a while. it was nice to her speak. tho there seemed to be a bit of irritation in her voice. should learn to keep in touch with people better. and so the blog was born.

being goan tells me i can do this.
It sounds just perfect.....GOAN MEN
You know u r Goan when...

You and your girlfriend are "friendly".
You've never had a grandmother, you've always had a Nana.
The same goes for Dada.

You jive to hip-hop.And if the DJ doesn't play the "masala" he's a bleddie baashturd and u feel like jhaaping or clipping him.
The first thing you ask another catholic is "which parish?"
Mazgaon is mazgon, Mahim is mayhim, borivali is brivli,bandra is banruh.
And you are a Mayhim boy or a Banruh girl.

Every sentence you say ends with "men".
And most sentences you say begin with "cheh men"
Women are "chicks" and men are "buggers"
It's okay if you skipped your best friend's birthday, but Sunday9 o'clock mass, have to go men, to meet da chicks and da buggers.

You utter 9 F's per 3 words.
You know at least one person in Vasai, Borivali, I.C. colony and Orlem, each.
The old people in the family call you "puta".
Portugal is your favourite European country.
You know 13 Savio's and 7 Seans.

You've been living in Bombay all your life, but you're actually from Goa or Mangalore.
You never say Mumbai.
You'll skip the world cup final but not the Christmas dance.
You love going to the local "fete" to watch the parishking and queen contest.

Irritating person filtered= swine.
When you disagree you say "balls".
You can't play cricket to save your life, but you rock at football.
You don't like Remo too much, but if a non-catholicdoesn't like him, you'll kick his arse for it.
Your Hindi is a little better than Michael Jackson's.
You claim you can't speak Konkani, but in reality, youcan use it to win the Nobel Prize for literature.

Christmas is not happy, it's merry.
Suits are black, dark blue and grey. Only.
On a Saturday night, you want to go out for a"cupple-a-beers" men.

Sunday is chicken curry day.
Your freezer is filled with last years Sorpotel, which if u heat and eat with pao no, its damn tashty men.
You prefer chicken patties to chicken lollypops.
When you order pav bhaji, you eat more pav than bhaji.

If you're goan you hate mangies and vice-versa.
Both goans and mangies hate east-indians a little.
East indians are people who've always been living in westIndia, and have nothing to do with the west indies.
Not from the east, not terribly Indian either.

Your bar has an okay amount of booze. 365 days of theyear.
And you "have some wine also men" for the women who don'tdrink.
You didn't watch Sholay but you've seen "The Passion ofthe Christ". In a theatre.
You think Mel Gibson is such a nice man.

Actually, this story is so appropriate to the Bandra bugger,men!

the light at the end of the tunnel was somebody just lighting up a cigarette. oh well life goes on. and there always jelly donuts. comfort

but seriously, theres always jelly donuts.

the smoking room is a strange world. people connect. there are some pretty faces too. the connections can get your heart racing(it could most probably be the lack of oxygen). the tears in the eyes (smoke again)....its funny when we step out of the smoking room, the relationship ceases to exist. but it IS there.

he said, she said....

so im sittin there mindin my own business, as usual, when BAAAMMMM!!! it hit me. when i came to, i understood one thing, you never show your back when there are guys playing football or cricket near you.

and this happened just....
female 1: im gettin my eyebrows done
female 2: (peering into the reflective glass) think i need to get mine done
and she looks at me from the reflective glass and asks
me: looks fine
{look of death}
{what'd i say?}
there is never an easy way out, no matter what. and so ive learnt.

made breakfast yesterday. and they lived. yes, no bodies {phew}. wasnt much just omelettes. reminds of the dex lab episode when all he can say is "omelet du fromage". lol lmao

like a ghost town out there. its only a little rain folks. hey krash this ones for u - I watch the smoke drift, from my cigarette.I hear the roaches cross the floor.Slam dance around me, in my chair I sit. dude if u dont get this, ur doin a zack de la rocha. lol.

and remember a day without sunshine is like, well, night.

dduw bendithia (this is for you babelers out there)(ps. i dont use babel, but then u kno that already)

captain's blog.....

star date 1101.07.2007

the martians are dancing something crazy on the roof. some of the little green men got squashed by a man sitting on a park bench.

it was my turn to play aunt agony for the week after mr. spock went on a hiatus following his lobotomy.

dear cap'n burp,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on
what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when
I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you
don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she
always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as
if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she
wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what
time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never
touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think
deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she
went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to
the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the
whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching
behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine
seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?


hehehehehe!!

so the weekend is here again. rowe flies today. special instrucions -"see any hot girl, you know my number." also finally nailed the bastard task, it had to be done.
and it got done. for the rod hath spoken, well actually the rod emailed more than anything else, but point is it got done. does that make me the man? you bet ur ass it does!!

nuff said

and remember everyone seems normal until you get to know them. yes, yes even the swet old lady down the street. nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another day another dinar

its cold again. thought the cold just upped and left. downright freezin it is.

just when u think everythings done it starts to unravel. stare at the stupid monitor. look at the phone longingly, not because u want it to ring but because u want to wring it round somebodys neck. still cant complain too much, gives me one final day to nail this.

the conspiracy continues....

day 8 and its still here??

"this is not the first time." she said," im glad there was something you could use." her tears spoke of what she felt, she didnt let them fall tho. it remains. again.

hey im glad ur glad.

going thru the motions, (so what else is new?). so much to do and so little time. and then quite suddenly it was all done, time to spare. sat there planning tomorrow. another day=another disaster, lol. theres only so much that can be (mis)handled. still what doesnt kill you, only maims you. touché pussycat!!!

there was a flicker, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. just hope it isnt someone lighting up a cigarette.

the pertinence that relates to the complications of a perverse mind

relatively simple in being but not in existing. the watcher stares as the world passes all round, to be a part of a nothingness that permeates through society's distorted fabric.

been one of those days, when you talk shop and not much else. then invariably we talk about food. chinese is always good!!!! hehehe!!

somebody turn the radio off, that aint music!!

tom morello is just amazing!!listening to him play is like slippin on ice and crackin ur noggin open and enjoyin the discomforting and yet disengagingly blinding numbness. he traverses time - and takes you with him. that world it engulfs so.......

post in translation

estoy apesadumbrado que no utilicé el babel.

sitting and staring i began to think(that is a huge job - thinking) there was a time i nearly gave up on everything. nearly gave up on life itself. there were certain deciding factors that pushed me to that place. then there was just one thing, one person, who inadvertently changed the course of what could have been. so i'm here now. it is hard, but i can now progress, with a extended sense of being, towards the uncertain future. this is a future that holds good. choosing options, the right options....and after we spoke last night, i am more convinced. you should be too. you did think of it as well. not a coincidence. not a coincidence.

rising smoke
ashes surround
my life diminishes

thought/pondering/musing for the week: when you work in chaos, no one bothers you (courtesy VIM)

now say after me "wearin underwear on the outside makes a superhero of me - not"

coffee and ciggies and duffknuts.

krash is blogging somethin funny. he begins.

uh-ho, these two girls just walked in . and their sitting at the next table. i wanna ell them that air freshner is not perfume but.......hmmm i think they're lesbians.
{gettin images in my head}
one is so butch. lol.

one of those lazzzeeeeeeeeeeeee days.

spoke to mom today, shes good.
mom "how r u?"
moi "ok"
mom "why didnt u go to church today?"
{see, im a good boy now. mom expects her ladla to go to church like a good child should, hey what can i say when ur mamas boy, ur mamas boy. hence the child reference. but then i havent grown much, been 12 for the last 31.5 years}
moi "goin for the 11 o clock service"
mom "ahh, ok good. now save ur money and don't drink"
moi "er this is kuwait, not like we have beer or vodka rivers here"
{i wish, i wish}
{hmm better sell the ferrari}

sent a bday txt to an old friend. tsk tsk tsk. the poor girl is so worried bout growin old. we all get old. some get wrinkles faster than others and then we die. growin old is part of the game. u gotta utilise the time b4 its gone. we wait hopin and achin, at times to no avail.

see, im gettin senile with age, im doin smiley bits. AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

puede la fuerza estar con usted

bravo ya hassoun

we're leavin and i ask "got your keys?"

"yes"

we walk and then, then he remembers he left something behind. we're almost at jahra..........

(now use a very south indian accent here)and we approach yet another weekend
(ok enuff wit the accent) when ur in a place like this it doesnt really matter, sure the middle east has its advantages(????!!!!) hmm maybe the exchange rate is the only thing its got goin there.

well no "happy" scenes today, thank goodness. shoulda kicked the guy in the family jewels.

wish things were different. wish they simply were.

Everytime I try to talk to you

I get tongue-tied

Turns out that everything I say to you

Comes out wrong and never comes out right

and in other news

An Egyptian Doctor wanted to go hunting, he calls his secretary HASSOUN and tells him "Ya Hassoun, I am going hunting tomorrow, we don't want to close the clinic, I ask you to take care of our patients".
"Yes, sir......" answers Hassoun.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks:"So Hassoun, how was your day?". Hassoun tells him he took care of 3 patients.
The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."Bravo ya Hassoun, and the second one?" says the doctor
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says Hassoun.
"Bravo, bravo ya Hassoun you're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was seated and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like flame, she undresses herself, taking off her bra and her panties and sleeps on the table and shouts: HELP ME for 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!!!"
"..and what did you do Ya Hassoun?" asks the doctor
"I put eye drops in her eyes!!!!"

ya hassoun, ya hassoun!!!!!

sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh, the sandman he cometh.............

so whos the one who thinks i think i rule?

so the chetz blogs. dude u were on another trip the other day with regards.... but i feel u.

this morning, im siting there mindin my own business, as usual, and this idiot takes the seat next to mine. "the bus has got like 400 empty seats" im thinking and he sits next to me. next thing i know this cretin tries touchin me. i feel so violated. i need to have another shower im thinking. his touching was oh so accidental. could my life get any worse??

u know, sitting there day in day out in front of ur pc, u wonder.............would life be any different if there were no donuts?

on a serious note tho, there needs to be more balance. the looking glass took her to another place. i have to find mine.

it continues.................

day 2. and i have to work tomorrow.
im here @ DDs and this wowsers piece just walked in. good God. can clothes get any tighter? i bet she spray painted them on!!

there are few things to be thankful for (for the uninitiated) - one of them being donuts, another is just being. chetz, dude, we got a lot to discuss. new year, new plans. i want to see this thing through to completion. seriously tho, i really wanna thank God. good friends, a secure job, my idiot friend's little monkey baby girl. my family. my RBKs. GOD RULZ!!!

got a lot of plans for the year, if just 3 of them materialise, like wow, im getting meself those racing leathers and more. hehehehehe!!

for now, enough. and remember if you got a red dot pointing at you, run.