just when u thought it was safe to get back in the water

couple of weeks and for two weeks after that i dont need to be up at 5 in the morning.

i should be excited right? but dont feel so. maybe just tired. maybe its......

rowe's digicam is in coma. all prayers directed to the quick recovery of the little thing.

45 degrees and we're not even in july/august yet. gonna be one long hot summer.

which reminds me, got this a while back...

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out our air hole at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors were swimming to the safety of the shore.
The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow any seamen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hehe....

i see it every week when i attend service (the horns still there, well ever so slight...), theres a sign asking people to switch mobile fones to silent mode. "if it rings, it isnt God calling, please silence your phones". however theres always some idiot who doesnt want to do it, he/she would rather disturb everybody and the flow. me thinks if ur call is so important, stay out till u receive it and thats that. u see this service is very important to me, its just once a week and i would like to be absolutely focused.

now if u guys dont know how the jews got the ten commandments read on, else.......read on.

God went to the Arabs and said, " I have Commandments for you, that will make your lives better."
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments??? Can you give us an example? "
God said," For example ............ Thou shall not kill."
The Arabs were shocked," What??? Not kill?? ??? No way!? Killing and massacaring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence.No.We are not interested "

So God went to the Africans and said, " I have Commandments."
The Africans wanted an example.
God said," For example ............ Honor thy Father and Mother "
The Africans were dismayed. They said, Father???? Yo maan!?Can't tell for sure, who our fathers are, maan! "

So God went to the Mexicans and said," I have Commandments "
The Mexicans wanted an example.
God said," For example ........... Thou shall not steal "
The Mexicans were flabbergasted.They said," No steal?? ??? No steal????? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh??? Gracias, but no! "

So God went to the French and said," I have Commandments "
The French wanted an example. God said," For example ........... Thou shall not commit adultery."
The French were stunned.They said," What???????Not commit ze adultery ........ ??? Non, Non, Non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous. We ze French, must have ze romance "

So God went to the Jews and said," I have Commandments "
They asked," Commandments?????How much do they cost? "
God replied," They are free."
The Jews answered," Good.We shall take Ten!!! "

joe n me

she"would u like to have a burpafrigginchino? or maybe you'd like to try our simplyexpensivepoopachino?"

me"hm..."

she"sir, this is made of......"

me{is it ok if i pull ur hair and poke ur eyes out}, nodding

she"and this is one is made of....."

me{what if ur head fell into the blender?}

me"really and what about that one?"

she"this one sir is our best....."

me{burp, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, hic, burp}

she"........"

6 minutes and some agonising seconds later.

me"i'll have a latte, thank you. just half a cup of coffee with plenty of room for milk. full cream milk if u have any(yes all fat filled and unhealthy)."

she"is that all sir?"{looking somewhat deflated}

me"just that please"

why cant i get a regular cup of coffee?


.......in bombay 26th may.......

welcome to the twilight zone

its one of those days when u wake up and know its gonna be a strange 'un.

when i stepped out of my room around 11 am, the family members looked at me strange like they'd never sen me before.(start with the twilight zone music). then i go down for a smoke and decide i wanna have some juice. the young boy who helps at the shop just kept staring like i had another pair of hands (maybe i did but i didnt feel anything different)

i went back to my room and took a good look in the mirror. nothin funny there. ok maybe the hair was sticking up kinda funny but i just woke up. stayed in there till the twilight zone passed. around 4 in the evenin, i venture out into the great beyond otherwise known as kuwait. im waiting for the light to change so i can cross, and this van stops inches from me. the guy smiles. shud've taken the van and his smile and shoved it all...whoops almost got carried away there, this is afterall a family channel. the light changes i cross, and the other light turns green. damn. lady in mercedes stops, why no idea and checks her lipstick. move lady move cant u hear the horns blowing!! i finally make it to where i have to well almost, just before i got there, this idiot turns into the lane, nearly running me over and stops. why? me saw the look on his face, he took the wrong turn. so he stops and the cars are pulling up behind him and he is oblivious to the fact that he now caused a mini jam (hm that reminds of a jam filled croissant).

i am at the atm, and the machine has a blank look just like i do. i kno i punched the right code. and finally it spits my money out at me. macdonalds. and i order a meal, not an inquiry. but thats what i got free with my meal. not to mention ketchup that tasted funny and fries that had this pork like flavour. really it did.

dunkin donuts and everything is all right for now.

for all you people out there who think drugs are cool read on:

A rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit said,"Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the forest." The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit.

They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The Rabbit said,"Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest." The elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up. The Rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest." The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started to beat up the rabbit.

Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "Lion, why are you doing this? He was trying to help you."The lion answered, "This little f*****r? He makes me run around the forest like a f*****g idiot every time he's on ecstasy ! "


keep on rockin

.......

with realisation comes purpose and direction. it strings along happiness, struggle and reward.